How to correct people using ptsd as a punchline?

[Scarlet13]

I really think that you can do both approaches being presented here. Stand up to stigma and just let it go. You can pick your battles.

It is important to be an advocate for social change especially for marginalized groups of people.

Especially important, is being an advocate for yourself, in whatever way that entails. That is what we do here on this site and in therapy. We are underscoring our humanity. That is the root of healing.

That is one of the things this site accomplishes, an abolition of mental health stigma, just by being out there, by offering education, by offering multiple viewpoints.

Maybe the PTSD joking bothers you because you want a voice and an awareness that your suffering is deep. This is the same issue that happens on this site, where people think they have PTSD from a bad break up. It really all boils down to ignorance and how you want to respond to human ignorance. You can take it on every time it happens, or pick your battles. You can recognize why it bothers you and use that knowledge in your own healing.

For me, I am ok with the PTSD joking. Even though these comments are somewhat ignorant (a bad test does not lead to PTSD) they are not perpetuating hate of a group of people.

I think mental illness joking that does not demean or put down groups of people is harmless. But it is important to find ways in your life to have a voice, to bring clarity to others if this is important. This is skillful living, finding meaning, giving back.

But you can pick your battles. I will often joke with my T that I am completely crazy. It is just a human thing to make light of something so serious.

 

[joeylittle]

You don’t have to put yourself up to be the poster-child for destigmatization.

(Not saying you are - I’m just validating your desire to take this slowly).

One of the first things you will learn (hopefully) in therapy is that we can’t control or change other people’s actions and reactions - we can only be responsible for our own.

So, when you perceive that someone diminishing what PTSD is by equating it with daily life obstacles - your first concern can be yourself. Remind yourself that their comments are for them, not for you. They are letting off steam in some way; it’s got nothing to do with you/your experience of PTSD.

If you think you might want to say something, wait a bit. Decide how it will help you to tell them that you felt minimized. You might discover that it won’t really help you - or, the opposite.

I’ve lived with and around mental illness for a very long time - and I still try and make sure I am really choosing to engage in that conversation with someone. Often, I find that (for me) it can be a kind of knee-jerk aggression if I’m not mindful of it. Telling them that I have family affected by mental illness, or that I myself have diagnoses might feel empowering in the moment; but later, I can realize that I only went there because I wanted them to feel ashamed of themselves for joking or turning it into slang.

They probably won’t feel ashamed of themselves. But I will feel like I disclosed some private stuff to people who really don’t need to know, and now I’ll wonder if it has affected their view of me...and then I need to work through that whole thing in order to not feel self-conscious around them.

When you are ready to talk about it, when it will help you to open up like that - that’s when the time is right. Til then, no need to put pressure on yourself to be a model mental-health citizen.

 

[Neverthesame]

I think it's a good thing people do this.

Ptsd is a horrible thing to suffer from.
Thanks to a handful of homicidal maniacs who tried blaming their opening fire in a crowded place on "ptsd", now there are people who think we're dangerous too.

If I were out shopping and accidentally overhear someone make a joke about giving his wife Ptsd after sharing the bed with him, due to an unfortunate bout of excess flatulence. :poop:

If I then confront these people all pissed off and start giving them shit for a stupid fart joke?

Well, for one. It would be somewhat of an overreaction on my part.
Second, I would look like an asshole. No one likes dealing with assholes.

People remember negative interactions far better than positive ones.
In my opinion, a positive interaction such as this kind of humour, lightens the topic. Making people want to interact and learn, without being terrified of offending the sufferer.
Self deprecating humour when used correctly, can make a good starting point.

A negative interaction. I think would cause irritation and apathy towards the person trying to police their language.
Instead of wanting to hear what they are saying. They only want them to be quiet. Likewise, the only thing they want to learn about ptsd, is how to avoid the people that have it.
Might not make the stigma worse, but it certainly won't help.

 

[biaaw677]

So I am currently a college student suffering with PTSD due to a past major trauma. This is quite a new...

When people joke about PTSD in this way, I guess the first thing to ask yourself is "does the joker actually matter to me in my life?" If it is just a general ignorant and unaware joke then its best to ignore it, but if the joker is going to be a part of your life (even an acquaintance) then you might need to think about how to tackle the issue in a way that will help you to cope during your relationship with the joker.
For me the greatest concern is "do you have a reasonable concern that the joker should know better?" For instance if the jokers were psychology students or even clinical professionals then the jokes could indicate the existence of poor attitudes towards victims of trauma or other persons with mental health problems. If the poor attitude is not put in its place then these future psychologists and clinical professionals might turn out to be the ones who ought not to become t's. In this scenario I vulnerable PTSD sufferer might not be the best person to tackle the poor attitude being displayed by such people.

 

[Genuwine]

I’m so glad I found this thread! I’ve just been dealing with the same inner struggle and decided to come on the site and see what I could find.

I recently had my in-laws for dinner and had to sit and listen to her talk about her “abusive” boss (he’s just rude not abusive) and how her father suddenly dying in a work accident years ago probably gave her “temporary” PTSD. I’m not denying these are tough and even painful life experiences but, I had to speak up as she’s an important person in our life and ask her to please be careful with her words. I then gave her an education on the definition of trauma and she paused and responded, “Oh, I’ve never experienced any of those things so I guess I’ve never had PTSD.” This was a small victory for me!

There’s still alot of educating for me to do (like for example PTSD not being temporary) but, I know she needs to be educated in baby steps. I also know that when she says these things it is her way of empathizing with me. She wants me to feel like I’m not alone. She has good intentions but, unfortunately unbeknownst to her she’s minimizing all that I’ve been through. That’s not her fault though as she doesn’t know about everything I’ve been through because I know she couldn’t handle hearing the details. So it’s still an inner struggle to figure out what to share and what to hold back, when to speak up and when to let it go.

I also had a cousin recently make a joke about something being “traumatic” and that maybe it’ll cause PTSD. For the first time a joke about trauma or PTSD didn’t bother me. I knew he wasn’t thinking and didn’t mean any harm so made a conscious choice to not let it bother me and let it slide. On a positive note, he later apologized as he realized it was insensitive of him to say that in my presence.

It is taking me time to figure out how to choose my battles. There is a delicate balance. I still get upset sometimes because these jokes or stories minimize the trauma I’ve been through as well as what it’s like to live with PTSD. But, I’m learning to try to see past WHAT’S being said, so that I can discern the underlining TONE of the comment or joke. That helps me decide whether to speak up or stay silent.

I agree with others, if the person is not important to me, I could care less. I will not speak up, although I have sometimes learned to educate without revealing that I have PTSD. Also, if it’s an isolated comment or joke, forget it, it’s not worth it. However, if the person is important to me and their comments or jokes become a recurring theme, I feel it necessary to tactfully educate them in small doses.

Glad to hear I’m not the only one who is sometimes bothered by this! There were some really good suggestions on this thread!

 

[biaaw677]

how her father suddenly dying in a work accident years ago probably gave her “temporary” PTSD

Maybe what your mother-in-law is naively referring to is her natural grief, shock and or simple PTSD experiences were following the close relatives accidental death? If this is the case, maybe she rightly identifies that she suffered PTSD but succeeded in overcoming its symptoms. Remember, PTSD is differentiated from Complex PTSD in the next ICD-11 diagnoses definition release; Simple PTSD can be 'cured' (at least in practical living terms), but people who have a diagnosis of CPTSD, Combat PTSD, or BPD with PTSD, have much more complicated presentations which are not easily or usually 'curable'

She wants me to feel like I’m not alone. She has good intentions but, unfortunately unbeknownst to her she’s minimizing all that I’ve been through.

Most likely every reader of this thread can identify with this kind of scenario. As you say it takes 'baby steps' to educate these people so that they genuinely hear and listen to what you say appertaining to your trauma diagnosis and its effects. The only positive thing is that at least you are only concerned about your mother-in-laws naivety and ignorance; it is of much greater concern when the important people in your life who are naive and ignorant are medics and clinicians who a) ought to know better and b) ought to independently educate themselves by seeking guidance from complex psychotrauma specialists.

Unfortunately in the UK), it is not unusual for complex trauma patients to be dogged by having to tolerate or depend on therapeutic input from naive, ignorant and prejudiced medics, clinicians and treatment service commissioners - such makes such patients extremely vulnerable and at greater risk of suffering new abuses (inflicted by the health professionals) on top of what such patients are already trying to deal with.