Relationship How to deal with ex seeing other people

[Confused123]

My sufferer and I went through a bad break up a few months ago but still very much have feelings for each other. I thought we were both going to try to work on ourselves then see if we could maybe stand another chance. I found out that even though he has indeed been working on himself, he's also been trying to date. He said it's been a bunch of first dates, mostly to feel like he's not a monster and remember how to talk to people again. Meanwhile, I haven't even gone on one date. I just have no desire. I kind of feel like an idiot. Maybe his actions have nothing to do with PTSD but maybe they do?

 

[Sweetpea76]

If you’re broken up he has every right to date. You’re not committed anymore. He’s not cheating or betraying you.

Break ups suck. Some people move on faster than others, and that can hurt. Really it’s something you need to work on yourself, and not anything to do with his PTSD. The last thing you need to worry about right now is what he’s doing. Work on healing yourself.

 

[OrangeJulius]

Different people deal with these situations differently. Generally, men and women deal with these situations differently.

My boyfriend and I broke up for months before getting back together and I couldn't entertain the idea of dating anybody else while I was so broken. I was at my lowest and critiquing myself etc. He, on the other hand, had someone in his bed the next night. After dating/f*cking/whatevering with whoever while we were no contact he then hit his low and started his self-examination months later right as I was starting to wrap my head around what could be next.

That process looks different for everybody. I don't think it reflects anything about you nor do I think it has anything to do with PTSD. It's just how some people deal or cope or whatever. And yes that can be influenced by bbn PTSD, but it's also still a decision that humans make for themselves.

 

[Ronin]

It's understandable you feel hurt, and another relationship is unfathomable right now...

But there is no 'we' with him. Nor will there be. That one is over. You will likely grieve it for a time, the break up itself may sting and hurt, but the soonest you get the reality it's over the better.

Chance to get to what's real and remaining and you & rebuild life. Sooner than being stuck in a land of hopes for something that doesn't exist and you can't wish into existing.

 

[Butterfly64]

My sufferer and I went through a bad break up a few months ago but still very much have feelings for each other. I thought we were both going to try to work on ourselves then see if we could maybe stand another chance. I found out that even though he has indeed been working on himself, he's also been trying to date. He said it's been a bunch of first dates, mostly to feel like he's not a monster and remember how to talk to people again. Meanwhile, I haven't even gone on one date. I just have no desire. I kind of feel like an idiot. Maybe his actions have nothing to do with PTSD but maybe they do?

I feel for you! I know it hurts like crazy when you still love him especially because you are not ready to date yet so why would he be. Maybe you wI’ll get back together and maybe you won’t... nobody knows yet. I sent you all my best wishes.