How To Stop Dissociative Amnesia?

[PTSD sufferer]

Hi All,

This is something that really, really, bugs me. It keeps me up at night and frustrated all day long.

A common theme in all my flashbacks is that I continuously forgot the trauma I experienced. Sometimes in seconds/ minutes of the trauma happening! Then I was traumatised again, and again, and again! I forgot again, again, and again! Something odd would happen, and I'd forget, time and time again!

I only heard the part of the conversation that was normal, not the abnormal parts. I saw, then it was gone from my memory in a split second...and I was helpless because of the memory loss.

My T once explained it to me as having 'dissociative amnesia' during the trauma and 'retrograde amnesia' were I forgot the trauma altogether for years. I get that this is how the mind blocks things that it can't handle as a 'natural' protection method....but its a very stupid reaction in my opinion!

However, I need to learn how to stop doing this in the future...I don't trust my brain to react by itself anymore, so I need some advice/ techniques on how to ensure, in the future (god forbid) if I face trauma again, that I won't block or dissociate...

I'll give anything a try!

Love to all xxoo

 

[Tinyflame]

I don't think you can stop it- for one thing you don't know what you missed until you recall it (not, as in a false memory), but during a flashback, etc, or more specifically I have found during similar events/ state-dependent.

I can recall things (actually remember them easily), from past traumas, only during some of the worst-stress times, but then when the stress abates I can't remember!

I guess one could/ should write it down?
Perhaps in the future having more- advanced coping skills and being more ~relaxed might prevent that from happening again.

-Best wishes, xox

 

[shell]

Why would you want to remember something that was obviously traumatic, I find it to be a blessing. I have a very short memory of being raped, would I want to remember the whole thing, not likely. There are reasons this happens, I never realized how little I knew about my past until I spoke to my brother and he filled some of the blanks. While I knew the truth in what he said, and it helped some things make more sense, I didn't recover the memory just because he told me about it. I obviously have lost all these memories for a very good reason, there is too much missing for it to be normal forgetting. It has never been a conscious effort on my behalf, it just happens. To suggest that it is something that you turn off seems unlikely.
I would find better to not be traumatized again, to have a life that was more stable? While some trauma is unavoidable, putting things in place to make life safer would be an easier option.

 

[Srain]

I get what you are saying about the rape and agree about the those tragic incidences and being grateful for not remembering, the problem for me happens when, like PTSDSuffer, it becomes a common occurrence in my life. I not only "forget" bits and pieces of traumas, I have these experiences while with people, outside my home, talking to my husband, on the telephone, etc, it can be frightening.

What I'm finding the key for me, is working on staying in the present. I agree with Junebug that a certain amount IS going to be normal forgetfulness, however, a great deal of it for me is catching myself - starting first thing in the morning - and working consistently to stay present. Am I successful? No, but I am getting better at it and it's working, the episodes are less than they were. I'm not as afraid of myself, of my consistency with of others and how I appear to them, especially the relationships I am rebuilding.

I'm glad you brought this up because today I'm losing the battle with it :ninja:

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes Rain, I relate to that also- I should have called it (what I meant) was 'stress-induced (related)/ overwhelming-emotion-caused blockages' :(

Keep trying- being 'present' is 'simple'- but not simple to do, I think it = being calm, letting yourself be happy, (also); to be present, not be vigilant, we have to be able to lay aside the past (even for a moment).
(But I think it's very difficult to 'engineer' if you don't feel safe 1st, or are triggered).
-xox

 

[PTSD sufferer]

I can recall things (actually remember them easily), from past traumas, only during some of the worst-stress times, but then when the stress abates I can't remember!

Hi June Bug,

I have a similar thing, I think it's if I go into 'fight' response mode, I can remember briefly things that happened, then seconds later, once the 'fight' response abates it's gone. It's similar to you though, 'fight' response equals remember very briefly a selection of incidents, then relax and gone - for decades sometimes. So frustrating!

My worry is that even in the states of calm (in my flashback), I did not consciously hear the abusive words or comprehend the actions...when the abuser is a nasty manipulative bread of crazy. For example, the parent who says 'how could anyone love someone like you' one minute then turn around a second later saying 'you are a good kid'. I hear the, 'good kid', but not the verbal abuse...why? dunno.

I'll definitely take your advise on developing advanced coping skills and trying to remain calm....I think I need to do this to stop the flashbacks from distracting me from conversations - I still loose time because of the flashbacks. Guess I am not very good at 'grounding'.

Hi Shell,

I can appreciate your perspective that not remembering is better. I also think this - the flashbacks are horrific and I just can't cope with them....I don't want to remember, but they don't stop! I relapse time and time again!

To explain, I have been repeatedly traumatized over a period of years - not just one or two incidents in my life. Many incidents, every day for years - ongoing, repeated trauma...

So, I need another approach to making myself feel mentally safe. My theory is to 'know thy enemy', anything in my flashbacks that scares me, I get to know, I try to find a way to debunk it. Then hopefully, the repetition will stop.

So, for my own security I feel the need to understand to equip myself better in such situations...simply doing 'grounding techniques' does not make me feel safe. I need to be 'mentally stronger'....so that I can be conscious of what's going on and mentally protect myself.

Avoiding trauma is something everyone aims to do. I am no different. However, life doesn't always work out that way - you can't avoid 'everything' or you will end up living a very paranoid & closed-off lifestyle (or at least I would). Potentially missing out on some great things/ experiences.

Trauma can reappear when family members are involved or people start taking advantage of your condition. Trauma can also present in ever day life. For example, car crashes, the recent riots in London, attempted knife point muggings - all common issues in the press...etc...

How can someone who 'forgets' trauma in a split second, adequately report such incidents to the police or ambulance staff? Would you feel safer then knowing or not knowing what happened when 'forgetting' could mean that the purps walk free?

Love to you both xxoo

 

[PTSD sufferer]

I get what you are saying about the rape and agree about the those tragic incidences and being grateful for not remembering, the problem for me happens when, like PTSDSuffer, it becomes a common occurrence in my life. I not only "forget" bits and pieces of traumas, I have these experiences while with people, outside my home, talking to my husband, on the telephone, etc, it can be frightening.

Hi Rain,

Exactly my problem! It's a common occurrence in my life...too common. Thank you for the advice about trying to stay in the 'present'. I too I struggle with it...even still after so much therapy, I loose time, I block.

I am sorry to hear you're also struggling today. My heart goes out to you love xxoo