How Was You Christmas?

[Deleted member 28403]

Just a thread for everyone to share what they got for christmas and how it went generally, trying to find good stuff in christmas this year...

I'll start.

I ate some sweets at grandma's house, and I got a small simple calculator and a small pack of ramen for christmas. I talked to HER a lot, and well, summs up most good in the christmass time.

 

[Rumors]

I hate to say it sucked, but it sucked. It isn't really about gifts for me. I just feel like something is missing. I loved being with my kid, but I have just felt so damn lonely. Sorry, I didn't mean to have a pity party. I am grateful for all the many blessings I have. Just having a day I guess.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@Rumors I know how you feel, my christmas sucked just a bit lesd than my birthday, which was awful. What I'm trying to do with this thread is be positive, optimistic, though I got no idea how. :hug:s to you

 

[SeanCharles]

@Rumors Sorry to hear your Christmas sucked! :hug:s

I'll continue...

I got a few necessary gifts this year. I mainly cherished the two remaining members of my family, my mom (mum for some of you) and my younger sister. Unfortunately, they don't understand me as I wish they did. It's tough at times dealing with these two people when they know me as they do, yet I feel like an outsider observer. Hopefully this makes sense...

@otakujome :hug:s to you also. May 2015 bring you both some semblance of peace.

---SeanGeo

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@SeanGeo I know how you feel, I got my gifts from my older sister, and thats it, but I still see how little any of them understand how I feel. I'm sorry.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Mine was pretty low key.... I got....err, am getting luggage that I've been wanting for a long time. I'll be traveling in a few months so it will come in handy. Spent the day with a few family members and it was a quiet Christmas. Spoke to my sister and she sounded very sad as she was alone for the holiday. I really do miss her, but hopefully she'll be moving closer to home within the next year. It was nice that I didn't get sucked into all of the holiday hype, commercialism and all. I think that's my least favorite part of the holiday. Yeah, on the news last night there was a story about the Xbox hackers and how since the online service was down, many people had their Christmas ruined. Ruined? Yeah, RUINED! It was sort of ironic that the very next story was about a family where 3 brothers spent the night with their grandmother on Xmas eve and all died in a fire.....No mention about that family's Christmas being ruined. People have such messed up priorities [Stupid news!]

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@Solara Yea, todays people see tiny stuff like that as something terrifying, people who know nothing of pain, fear, suffering :(... Ugh

 

[Changing4Best]

Oka, I am sorry you had such a sad Christmas. I wish things would get better for you.

Being in my 60s, I don't really need anything but a place to go for the holiday, seeing as my beloved husband died in 2005 and we were unable to have children. My surviving relatives are my sister and her 2 adult kids and husband. I called her and they were all at her house getting ready to celebrate. No one really wanted to talk to me, as they wanted to open their gifts and eat their Christmas dinner. I am not that popular in my family, I am poor and they are all rich. None the less, there is nothing I needed really, so getting a winter coat and a weather radio from the Salvation Army was great. I got some small gifts from a friend, a box of candy and a bathroom hand towel.

My big happy event was that two of my girlfriends who are sisters and live in the same house, invited me for Christmas dinner. I was at their house for about 8 hours, which was great. I did not have time to sit and feel sorry for myself that my beloved husband is not here to celebrate with me. Instead I had a good time talking and listening and eating and feeling loved. So it was a great day.

I have spent yesterday and today reading some fiction books, working on cleaning out a bookcase and doing laundry. Tuesday my best friend is coming to visit me, and we will exchange gifts then. She spent the week with her parents, so I am happy for her, as they have a good relationship. She told me that they bought her a new computer! What a great gift to get. I am so happy for her.

 

[zeckster81]

I had a good Christmas. My husbands grandfather of 97 years and 11 months died 2 weeks ago so it was a little sad for his side, but we cherished our time together. I bought my husband funny gifts knowing he would be sad. I got him Obama toilet paper. Made him laugh. His other Grandfather who is 100 years old is not doing well.

 

[The Albatross]

Mixed bag for me, couldn't pull it together this year... so it wasn't stellar but it wasn't awful either. (that's the unvarnished truth)

 

[Recovery4Me]

Hey @otakujome ! Pretty cool to open a positive thought thread. I am proud of you.:hug:

What kind of sweets did your Grandmother offer? Did she make them herself? Were they your favorites?

 

[Leigh925]

Christmas Eve was great....just my husband and children and a few people I trust in my life. I was happier and laughed more than I have this whole year.

Christmas Day sucked. I allowed my parents and my sister to play games with my head. My dad came for Christmas dinner but hardly acknowledged me. My sister and step mom didn't show up at all even though they told me they would this year....after being stood up by them the last two years....and after me being vulnerable enough with them to share how much I had been hurt last year.

Positively encouraged by those conversations I put in extra work to make things particularly nice for them since I have emotionally distanced myself during the last year of therapy. I was extremely thoughtful and really poured my heart into giving them meaningful gifts and cooking for them the things that they liked. I apparently am a slow learner.

I can handle them standing me up but I can't handle the mind games and and manipulations. I ended up in the fetal position on the floor of my closet wanting to self harm and emailing my therapist....,

And really haven't gotten out of bed since. Why in the hell do I keep wanting my family to want me when it is never going to happen?

I am mad at myself that I let Christmas Day suck the joy that I felt from Christmas Eve.

My favorite gift was from my 16 year old son. He got in touch with my brother to learn how to make the tarts my real mom would make for us when I was little. It was her only way of expressing love.

So I woke up Christmas morning to freshly baked tarts and a note my son had written me about how proud he was of me and how much he had noticed I have grown in therapy and how if my mom was still alive this is what she would had done to make me feel loved so he did it for her.

Of course I cried like a baby but I was so comforted by his gesture and by the fact that my son could have done such a mature And thoughtful thing for me.

So closing analysis.....Christmas was a typical PTSD roller coaster ride.....just with better food and twinkling lights in the background.