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How's Your Day Been? Each Day is Different, So Make Your Mark Daily

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Hope your Christmas is going ok...
mine is kinda a drag...
my hubby is depressed. The only ones happy here are the dogs & horses. The dogs are even happier than the horses! The dogs get to come in the house & be fed. The horses just get fed in the barn. At least being in the barn, they are out of the wind and cold... even if it isn't all that cold here.
(30's). Wondering if we are going to get just rain or maybe some of the white stuff... I have never had a "white Christmas". Guess it would be just my luck when no one but hubby is here & no $$, to have a white Christmas... I guess I would just have to take pictures and be stupid and go play in the snow...

Take pictures for the family............ the memories of the good will help someone.........maybe even you........
 
Walked the dog/s 4 times tonight and once went out alone. Extreme panic blindsided me this AM when I was up and tired, hubs poking pills and trying to get me down. Went down until this afternoon and they hit me so hard again upon waking. Very severe today. But tonight has been fine and I was able to deal with one med free and get through it, still not sure how I did. Very sucky day, and it has driven my appetite through the roof! Of course no one open on X mas eve... I gotta cook as cheetos are not cuting it :P
 
hey veiled, i guess you made it to your destination! sorry that you're having so much trouble with panic attacks, maybe they'll decrease as you settle there.
cathy
 
I am hoping so... I was up until about only 2 and the panic started up again and could not knock it out. So pissed to take meds. I hate when I have to. Finally fell asleep after 3.

But I slept off and on through the night/morning, bad dreams about evil ex, just yelling at me though. So not sound but I lasted in bed until about 9:30 so that was new...

Hubs had gone to lay down with pissed off toddler at 3 AM. I said no more kids in my bed, period. She has a twin now and we tossed the King size for the full so no room for little one. Defeats the purpose if you go sleep with her in that bed... She is 3 now, time to sleep alone.

Go in at almost 10 to wake him and I did not feel bad for a change upon waking, normally I am all jitters. Well, that quickly changed when I asked him to go in town (not ours, no fast food here) and get the kids for breakfast...It is late. Well, decent mood lasted from my room to the little one's when he rips into me how little sleep he got (ya think? On a twin size bed with a 3 year old? What a shocker) Acts like I asked him to move Heaven and Earth to feed them. Well, shit no milk here or eggs... Can't find the hinge for the fridge door! Well, hell it wasn't like I had the most peaceful night either...

Then Ham comes up from son... I asked where are you getting ham? He said the grandparents, OK non-issue and it was just dropped there, I asked a question, son answered. But hubs pipes in well we don't have to go. WTF? We already discussed they were going I was not but now it gets turned if I am not I am stopping them? I am already pissed off said excuse the fk out of me if I cannot be your puppet on a string. I am in a pissy mood all the way around.

Shit I am doing all I can to bathe daily here and keep it up, use make-up, and walk my dogs after dark. I am actually getting out of my house which is never done.

I know I am a wreck as one dog is sleeping with me and even if hubs is in the bed and if not she is laying on the floor next to me. When I get jacked my dog gets it. Seems only "person" who does is the dog.

And hell, after his attitude I would have been more than happy to go do it myself if I would not get lost! But since I have no clue where the f* I am... He calls with I love you no one open in this town going to next in a half pleasant voice. Shit how do you go from dick to that so quick???

I want to just go hide back in bed so not to bother the big hairy pain in the ass... And hon if you start reading this yes, I am talking about you!

I just don't get it, were the switches that jack me up expected to just shut off when I got here? Shit still needs to be done and I refuse to doll up and go fake it just to make myself worse than I am now.

The move was to remove triggers that are everywhere, but I am needing to destress. I did not get shit (thankfully) for not going to the nativity yesterday as I was in bad shape, but as far as I am concerned at this point he can shove this day up his backside and leave me alone.

Fk, make up your mind be an asshole or mr.understanding... Taking a damn pill and going back to bed. Rather sleep this day away already!
 
veiled,

Sorry you are having a tuff time.. Hugs to you...

My day has been quiet...kinda scarey... my grown daughter called said "merry christmas".
I fed the duck, & the 3 horses...skipped feeding the cattle just figured they would have to eat grass today..
My hubby (ranger) hasn't gotten out of bed..Totally not like him. I know he was depressed that my daughter is w/her boyfriend & his family. We didn't have his boys this xmas. We did the dinner thing on Fri night. He was hurting
& anyone who touched his back sent him into pain hell.. the vibs from the kids bouncing on the floor was causing him pain inspite of the pain meds he'd taken.
My dog & my daughter's dog are my friends today.. I built a fire, drank some coffee, ate some toast, read my book and just vegged most of today..Peaceful..
Small town, so nothing open, otherwise I would pester the ranger into doing something to get his mind off the crap..
We avoided the nativity scene at his Dad's (he's a pastor) church on Fri. We brought our presents home.. Thankfully we got a Safeway gift card. At least we will have some food..
I will be glad when the holidays are over. Each yr they seem stressful to me.
my parents are gone. My brothers have their own families to be with. Rangers family makes big deal of it because they are so religious. The whole thing of "Jesus is the reason for the Season" kinda stuff. I don't remember much of the story..But did the Wise men have problems figuring out what to bring baby Jesus? Did the Wise men have spouses? If so, where were they?
Were they stressed? So many ???, the anwers don't matter... just goofy thoughts running amuck in my crazy brain.

Take care everyone the New Year is just around the corner -- good, bad, or indifferent --------- !!!!!!! ????????


D (wildcritter)
 
Veiled, lovely post and all, but nothing but anger, very little emotion.

Tell me, what do you "feel" at the moment, and don't give me any emotional response crap either lady, you know better than that.

Tell me why you feel this way for everything you feel. Did I provoke something with that little mental imagery piece? Are you seeing something you didn't want to see, or put your finger upon?
 
Since this is so public my dear... will PM since the mental imagery is still in a one on one not public yet.

But yes, very very pissy post. Yes, very angry. A lot of pain. I did knock myself out for a good bit of the day. Cried a lot, not sure why. I am not the crying type, I am so used to sucking it up, but lately emotions have found a release valve. Managed to at least to do it alone.

Keep walking the dogs... Tried tonight but my boots on the pavement were hurting my feet so I about threw the mother of all fits over no tennis shoes, cannot find them (did not throw fit, sucked it up and heart raced and dizzy). Found my hiking boots. Those are old and broke in. But soon as I made it half a block the sciatic (sp?) nerve was shooting down both sides my lower back and ass. Not working, had to go back. Also, learned sweat pants don't do jack shit in really cold weather. I need some thermals and some good walking shoes to keep this up.
 
I had a crazy busy day, but it was good. I was so busy I had no time for wallowing LOL. The kids had a blast and that is what matter. Our day started at 8:30 am this morning and we are just winding down with hot chocolate now. Can you say, hard-core X-mas?? LOL, it was nuts but worth the fun. Kids and dogs make my day I tell ya. My youngest got a "robo-sapien" which is hilarious. It farts and burps, whistles and winks, walks, yawns, roars.. OMG is that thing funny (and annoying after awhile), my eldest is in gaming heaven with 14 new games. Yep, that is right 14 of the bloody things! (I'm on the laptop LOL) I bought my dog "booties" for her poor little paw paws. (yes she is a suck when it comes to getting cold paws.. pretty funny for a dog that loves winter) and I almost peed my pants after putting them on. She did this funny flamingo dance with all four paws. Looked like she was trying to walk on marshmellow. Funnier than hell. Kids even came to watch and laugh their butts off. I have a "poor me look what mom did" picture that I will upload if I ever get on my main pc again. LOL. Hope everyone else had a great day.

Veiled: I would say the extreme pissiness is for the imagery too.. LOL he's hitting both of us with that one I see...

Bec
 
So Bec... Think Anthony has put some coal in our stockings??? Sounds like you are handling it well! That is great! I swear he is getting shit out of me if I had the $$$ I would go down under an smack him LOL!
 
yeas, I am sure it is for the best but in the mean time blows... But yahoo X mas is officially OVER!
 
I survived. Curled up and slept most of xmas day, but still survived.

Kids made me smile and I didn;t have a panic attack till I got home from sis's place.
 
So Bec... Think Anthony has put some coal in our stockings??? Sounds like you are handling it well! That is great! I swear he is getting shit out of me if I had the $$$ I would go down under an smack him LOL!


Nope, it's called hiding in busyness. LOL.. I'll join in with the smacking him.. :stupid: heheheheheh

bec
 
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