Hurt.

[Jegon]

This is a pretty childish perspective. I get angry if I feel unseen, ignored. Now, this is my own interpretation of feeling that way. It haappend here as well, I was interested in others, and asked how they cope and most of the time I didnt get any response, ofcourse we all deal with our own life's and we dont have the capacity to always emgage in things.
What hurt me was that I was actually admiring someone here (Not romantically!) And what I got was an exremely rude response. I was honestly thinking I was giving someone good advice, (Not in a look at me I know it all way) And there is no thankfulness, no interest. This sucks... I cant even be angry about that person, because its not about the other person/persons.

This happens to me pretty often. Now if I say “this happens“ it sounds as if some force is working against me, which is not the case. I know that. Its distortion.

Its a “No one likes me“ reality, which is a versy childlike view.


Can anyone relate to this feeling ignored state of mind?

Thanks...

 

[Utuzo]

Feeling unheard is a huge trigger for me. I just try to acknowledge the hurt. Know that it’s from a real place. It’s such a strong pattern for me. Sorry I don’t have anything more constructive.

 

[Jegon]

Feeling unheard is a huge trigger for me. I just try to acknowledge the hurt. Know that it’s from a real place. It’s such a strong pattern for m

Thank you...it Doenst have to be constructive! Its just that I thought here in the forum I can keep some kind of a connection, which again is something you cannot force. Its either there or not. I see many here interaction with each other, I do too but its as if it all goes unseen. Again distortion. Why mine?

I am angry at a few here actually... but what use Do I have in being angry...its silly.

 

[Jegon]

Again, I feel I am the left out, everyone here have some kind of groups, or those who support each other.

Unthanful lot. F* em

 

[Osime]

My better half struggles talking about the tough stuff. When I open myself up to being vulnerable by trying to explain what’s happening in therapy he will turn away or change the subject. He’s not trying to be an @$$hole but he doesn’t know what to say. Sends me on a spiral to nowhere. My T wants me to try journaling because I trust nobody but I don’t trust that I can keep a journal private. The one time I want to be unheard lol

I’m ridiculously (apparently) functional so I’m always the one doing the listening.

 

[Osime]

Utozo aka Osime

 

[Jegon]

He’s not trying to be an @$$hole but he doesn’t know what to say. Sends me on a spiral to nowhere.

I'm sorry, its definitely tough. We tend to feel very alone with our own history and its effects... I can relate to the fuctioning thing. I feel I have to hide that part to somehow play it well.

 

[Osime]

Yeah. I don’t even know mine. First Christmas I remember was in my early 20s. But yeah socially acceptable is what I do best :D

 

[Rogaca]

Again, I feel I am the left out, everyone here have some kind of groups, or those who support each other.

There are cliques here on the forum. The founder of the forum gives a reminder ever so often about the cliquishness of the forum.

And then there are people who share in the Trauma Diaries and get to know each other. Some people's Trauma Diaries I relate to and those people I converse with. I don't always get a response back on my Trauma Diary and they don't always get me to respond on their Trauma Diary. Sometimes I am deep working on something and I'm posting away and not paying attention to others. Other times I'm more out there, welcoming newcomers to the forum. It just depends on what's going on inside me.

Then again I've noticed since the beginning of this year a slacking off of responses from people all around. Maybe new goals in therapy or their lives.

I feel both ways about feeling as if I'm being ignored or left out. I feel unwanted. And I feel okay about it.

How long have you been on the forum? If less than a month don't sweat it. Keep sharing and working your healing journey. Eventually someone will connect with you especially if you've got a Trauma Diary. That helps. At least that's what I've discovered.

 

[Inogo]

I fall victim to idealism all the time, and am much more of a believer in inclusion rather than exclusion,but even though it has taken me forever to get the fact straight in my head, life is in no way set up like that. It is nice to be able to keep the perspective in mind when dealing with this. For me sometimes that is difficult because the disease gets in the way.

What I have learned the very hard way and it has taken the same lesson over and over until it started to seep into my brain is this:
Whenever human beings are involved and no matter where you go you will find these things:.
The who's who
The cliques
The dominant ones
The experts who have an opinion on everything
And on and on
It really has no value on my worth as a person if I do not let it. It is simply human nature. So sometimes a place like this can be used as a tool to learn to deal with life as it is and to not take it personally.

Some here are afflicted worse than others, some have way more advantages for recovery, but that in no way needs to affect anyone in their quest for recovery. It is all irrelevant because recovery is such a personal thing and finding what works for you and being true to you is for me the real lesson.
My two cents, and whatever anyone else's opinion here is is their two cents. sifting through the garbage to find your truth is the essence.
My truth, and no one else has to accept that or approve of that. Nor me their truth.

 

[Ejaw]

I’m sorry to hear this @Jegon. I find that a lot of times people don’t know how to respond to a question, or they just respond with an answer that makes sense to them. I’m sure there are a lot of people who care.

 

[Olete]

I try to remember that text is difficult to translate when it comes to tone and actual intent behind the words on a screen. But I still fail in my attempts to view everything in a balanced way consistently because feelings can easily overtake logical trains of thought in a heartbeat.

How I react to what I read/see/experience is based on MY feelings and past experiences regarding the topic of the moment, as it is with every other individual choosing to actively engage, and when discomfort is stirred, there's my chance to examine it a bit more closely to try to find the roots and either dig them up and stop the growth, or feed them more fertilizer to encourage more growth. Much like with the garden, some things are perennial and keep coming back year after year and some are annual, only to be here once per season, but they had to be purposely planted to begin with, either way.

Being left feeling empty, overlooked, ignored, insert other uncomfortable feeling here happens everywhere I roam at some point or another if I decide to stick around and interact long enough. I've had to learn to be the thing that healthily fills my own voids, otherwise, I'm continuing to give everyone else way more control over me than I wish to actually allow. My in-vironment changes with my thoughts...and I'm the one at the wheel directing them....beep beep!!!...traffic jam at rush hour is a real bitch.