General Hyper-vigilance

[Sweetpea76]

Recently somebody broke into my vet's garage. He chased them off (it was probably a couple of teenagers), but ever since he has been on constant guard. He is always overprotective of his loved ones, and he is obsessive with securing his area, but it has kicked WAY up. It's understandable, and I know the PTSD exacerbates this, but I am worried about him. Has anybody had experience dealing with hyper-vigilance in their partner? I have been letting him do his thing, but I always wonder if there is something I can do to help.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

I used to sleep with a pen knife under my pillow; a loaded, locked, cocked high velocity air gun with heavy rubber rounds, just to the side of my bed and within arms reach; I kept a scalpel kit ready to use on my desk a kitchen knife out in the kitchen - which I also used to carry to the toilet and/or bathroom. And I took the knife with me whenever I left the house - which was rarely. It faded once I was sure the threat was removed, but it really helped.

I knew that it was probably unlikely that I would come to any harm, but having something like a pen knife in my pocket made me feel prepared and slightly safer - not physically as I doubted even then that I'd actually ever use them, but mentally it was a taken precaution, a safe measure and the only thing I could do.

I never used that knife for anything more than whittling and I rarely if ever carry it now (especially as one of the blades snapped when I tried using it as a chisel for another project). The kitchen knives eventually found their way back into the knife block. The air gun is still loaded and ready to go, but I've put it away so safely I can't remember where it is, but I did fire it once in the general direction (deliberately slightly to the side of) some people in the small outside by my bedroom window (ground floor studio bedsit) once - they stopped shouting, jeering and general indecency (oral sex), packed up their drugs, and left without a word, nor on that occasion at least did they come back. Even though they got me so unbelievably upset, I knew I didn't want to hurt them (well maybe a little, but I knew better, I just felt threatened), I just wanted them to go away and previous attempts at reasoning with them led them to intimidate me and move their behaviour to within arms reach of my bedroom window.

All I'm saying is maybe gentle and calm reassurance, he probably won't believe you that there will be no harm, or even if he does believe you that he won't be able to let his guard down. So just be calm and hopefully soon when the threat doesn't return, he will relax a little.

(I just realised as about to click "Post Reply" that this was in the supporter group, I hope I'm not breaking any rules by posting).

 

[edgar]

When I think of hyper vigilance, I think of watching almost every move you make or somebody makes around you in the corner of your eyes. Always on guard. Kas is right, it should pass overtime. He's just trying to make sense of what happened, so support him and try to encourage relaxation.

 

[Bilby]

He is always overprotective of his loved ones, and he is obsessive with securing his area, but it has kicked WAY up.

I think the thing is, that when there is already hyper-vigilance, and something goes wrong (such as in the situation you have described), it's like it justifies that hyper-vigilance, i.e. they feel they are right to be on guard. I haven't explained this well - do you know what I mean?

Time... and a bit of it, I think, are the only things that will help.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I think the thing is, that when there is already hyper-vigilance, and something goes wrong (such as in the situation you have described), it's like it justifies that hyper-vigilance, i.e. they feel they are right to be on guard

Yes Bilby, I think I understand what you mean. The PTSD makes him feel like he needs to be on the look out for bad things... a bad thing happened, and it just justified everything in his mind. I guess I am just going to have to ride this out with him, although I wish I could get him to get a little sleep. :dead:

 

[AS1975]

Hyper-vigilance is exhausting, mentally and physically, muscles are completely taught and ready to go at a moments notice, mentally, there is no rest. It causes bloody awful muscle cramps and aches, you are living on the outer, bleeding-edge of your nervous system - literally - and sooner or later the nerves get frayed.

You are living an emergency situation the whole time, which makes your actual response to actual emergency/injury seem insensitive, unsympathetic or low-key, simply because it was foreseen and an obvious consequence of what was happening (from your perspective - people think it is 20-20 hindsight, no, it is 20-20 foresight of what could happen in this case, but things don't always go wrong).

I remember at Uni we did a unit where the lecturer was busy telling people that Ambulance Officers must "work" to control their reaction to emergency situations, in order to show little to no emotion. Crap, after a while you feel little to no emotion, it isn't anything more than what you are there to deal with, there is no emotional involvement whatsoever (even when you become a casualty - the emotional involvement is simply "oh bugger it", it's a nuisance, not an issue). After you reach a certain point, the entirety of the response is what to do next and how to get things done most effectively. People who freeze up or flee, they generally don't remain in the service long-enough to get over that response (that's what I tell myself anyway).