I’m only worth sex

[EveHarrington]

I’m not sure if I have “low self esteem” written on my forehead or what, but all but one of the men who have ever shown an interest in me just wanted sex.

 

[Mach123]

I keep coming back to this and it just makes me want to cease to exist.

I tried talking about it with my therapist but she just went on about how every woman has been subjected to a man who only wants sex so I’m “NOTHING SPECIAL”

Wtf.

I don’t think she knows anything about CSA.

I'm sorry because I tried to tell therapists for years that "some strange things went on about sex when I was a kid" they said "boys do that" or "children experiment," and other BS and I'd shut up immediately and think "IM WRONG!" (I'm always wrong). "I want attention, I wanna be special" and so on.

 

[hithere]

I keep coming back to this and it just makes me want to cease to exist.

I tried talking about it with my therapist but she just went on about how every woman has been subjected to a man who only wants sex so I’m “NOTHING SPECIAL”

Wtf.

I don’t think she knows anything about CSA.

Sounds like she totally missed the issue.

 

[Justmehere]

If you always define your worth based on what others think, then you’ll probably continue to be on shakey ground. Right now, it seems like you based your self worth on what men think.

Look at celebrities chasing fame, which is essentially just the opinions of others. Many are addicted, suicidal and miserable.

And yet the people who tend to be drawn to and end up in the most healthy lasting relationships end up there much because they define their self worth on themselves and their core values.

 

[HealingInProcess]

I agree that we can't base our self-worth on other's opinions, as hard as that can be sometimes not to do.

 

[EveHarrington]

We talked about this in therapy today.

I told my therapist I had a hard time letting go of this belief.

I told her I wasn’t trying to be difficult, I just didn’t know how to change.

We talked about why I was holding on. It seems like it’s safer than feeling vulnerable and exposed.

I think somethings shifted. At least it feels that way.

 

[HealingInProcess]

We talked about this in therapy today.

I told my therapist I had a hard time letting go of this belief.

I told her I wasn’t trying to be difficult, I just didn’t know how to change.

We talked about why I was holding on. It seems like it’s safer than feeling vulnerable and exposed.

I think somethings shifted. At least it feels that way.

I'm glad to hear you shared this with her. I totally understand when you have mindsets that seem immovable. I have many of those but I agree that acknowledging them is important. I hope and pray this starts to move in a positive direction in terms of your self-perception.

 

[Wendell_R]

It seems like it’s safer than feeling vulnerable and exposed.

Yes. Safety, at huge self-cost, seems very important to many of us. I think learning to be vulnerable and exposed is a slow process. And it should be slow, because we need to learn who we can trust, and who we can't, and how much to divulge, and what sort of things to share and/or divulge to others. None of these things are obvious to those with messed up childhoods.