I Am Best Friends With My Therapist, Is That A Bad Thing?

[Kasob]

Your therapist initiated a "friendship" with you? You were in a vulnerable position as a client/patient and her needs and wants outweighed your getting therapeutic help? Hell yes this is a problem. It is a problem in a big way. She should be reported for what she did with you and struck off and never allowed to be a therapist again.

You have strayed into dangerous territory here.

 

[Etu]

I don't think she is supervised. I understand what you are saying but I am unsure about is how is this harmful to me? What could happen?

There are just so many potential lethal and non lethal things that could arise out of this - I had a relationship exactly like this, and that woman ended up taking over my life. A decade later I am trying to put my life back together. Even if you don't see it you need to walk away from this situation as soon as possible. You are in serious emotional danger here. Listen to your husband.

 

[Ijasul]

Why don't you just quietly put some separation there. Perhaps not see her as often and just be "busy" and hen see what transpires. Sometimes you can't get a clear picture because you are too divested in the situation. I am not suggesting you cut her off, but only have a little more separation. You don't need to elude anything to her that you are questioning anything. It may be appropriate and you may find out everything is just fine. However, you won't know unless you look in to it further. Just a suggestion.

 

[Ijuju]

I think I would be uncomfortable about having a friendship with my therapist outside of the therapist /client relationship. Simply because I would feel vulnerable because of what I have shared with her. A therapist is bound by rules of confidentiality whereas a friend isn't, and if you were to fall out in the future, would you be able to trust her not to hurt you with what she knows about you?
It might also be awkward for her if she knows things about you that your family/partner don't know, once she gets to know them.
But it's entirely your call as you're the one who knows her.

 

[Zagup]

@Etu could you explain what you mean when you say she took over your life.

I really enjoy the relationship and I don't want to separate from her. I don't think she would ever hurt me. I think maybe I am too enmeshed but that is something I can try to figure out. We talk about everything but I don't think it's therapy. She talks about her stuff too.

@Ljuju she has already met my family and friends many times and is a big part of my life. I don't worry she will say or do anything.

 

[Uweh]

Just my opinion, i think in certain situations therapy does turn into friendship. And its fine as long as its a mutual relationship.

 

[Mahuj]

I am very concerned for you in many ways. Especially that you at some level know there are at least some concerns to write this, but every reply you say you like the relationship and have no intention on changing or ending it. Please just take some time to yourself and at least think about this and the potential dangers to yourself here.

 

[Riru]

I had a wonderful therapist for an intense (sometimes 3x's/wk) 3yr period. After a period of about 8 or so yrs following my therapy we became friends, and were linked coincidentally professionally as well. It was a good friendship, but she was more closed than I was about her life and from time to time she let slip comments that were related in some small way to our time together in therapy - I sometimes felt a little uncomfortable. However, we were not super close friends so I don't think either of us saw it as much of a problem. Unfortunately only a few yrs into this new way of associating with each other, she had a heart attack and died. I think of her often these years later and I am SO grateful for the kindness and expertise she showed me during those turbulent times when I was her client. My life is absolutely and positively better for having known her.

 

[Anuv]

@Etu could you explain what you mean when you say she took over your life.

I have been thinking about answering you for a quite awhile now. I don't think I can really explain it - but it reads very much like what you are talking about it. My partner warned me as well and pointed out that it was problematic, but I had had such extreme deprivation that I could only but hold on. She really tapped into my deprivation in such clever ways.

She got involved with friends, family, workmates, moved into my place, she was "friends" with me to meet her own needs I realise now but then I was enmeshed with her, I didn't have boundaries, I knew it was wrong but I couldn't stop her or the "friendship" because I was scared of losing her. I also thought it was intense in a good way. People warned me. People expressed concerns.

 

[Volod]

A couple of years ago my therapist and I became best friends. She initiated it and we tried to stay with the therapy but after a few sessions we decided to end that and just be friends.
It has been great we see each other several times a week and even our husbands have become friends. We have gone away on vacation together and I even watch her son.
Sometimes I get anxious and wonder if there is something wrong with this relationship because of how it started.

Do you have a therapist now? Maybe get one but don't tell your ex therapist/friend about that and just talk about it with someone removed from the situation.

Only after it blew up in my face was I able to move away from my psychologist. I had a few like this - I was just so vulnerable.

I really feel for you that you have been exploited in this way.

 

[Zagup]

Thank you for your replies.
I know she is getting her needs met too but that is what a friendship is. I don't mean to be difficult I am just trying to understand the risks. I do really want this friendship and enjoy the friendship. I feel we are open with each other and maybe we are too attached but I fell it is in a good way, a good attachment.

 

[Jepepoh]

What do you mean by it is intense?