I Am Feeling Really Ashamed At Being So Mentally Unwell.

[Porafo]

I am very mentally unwell. It is hard going at the moment. I am dissociating a lot at the moment. SI all the time, not going to act on it but sheesh I am over it. So my head goes around and around on it.

Really over being so stuck in my daily life. Living in a hoarder's house. Hard to move around. Hard to get it together to eat. Hard to see people.

At times I am really pushing myself but I don't seem to make so much progress, but very tiny amounts. So I guess that is something.

I feel embarrassed, people know I am not well. I have been thinking of taking myself to hospital but I know what I have to do.

Appreciate the comments from people here. It is humiliating to be so unwell at times. I try not to focus on it but it keeps going around my head.

 

[Porafo]

I am still terribly unwell. I am really struggling.

 

[Oziti]

You'll feel better.

 

[Porafo]

I really hope so I seem to be cycling round and roung in this negative mind space. It is so strong and I keep being dragged down.

I feel like I should be doing better than I am.

 

[Akowu]

I keep trying to have patience but it's hard being so unwell. It feels repulsive.

I'm trying to have compassion for myself but it doesn't feel possible. Like part of the problem is that I'm missing compassion for myself, and I am stuck trying to create it.

Wish there were moments of respite, but there aren't. I think about the hospital too. Wish most hospitals didn't suck.

It's good that you're posting here. It's good to share it with someone. Keep sharing.

 

[Porafo]

I pull myself up for a little and then I am cycling around and around in negativity. It is really hard. I know it is the depressive thinking but it feels that there is no way out of this.

 

[Uhalu]

Looking back to the times I was doing worse I'm not sure what I could have done differently. Get rid of unneeded stress that's unduly negative. Is there anything in your immediate environment that is causing you additional problems? Are you living in a good safe environment?

Sometimes you can't directly change the way you feel. Sometimes you have to look at things that are indirectly affected you. Especially with PTSD. Especially.

 

[Porafo]

There are a few things that I can do and I am determined to do them today.

 

[Porafo]

I tried to do those things today. I am so severely dissociated. It is really hard to manage the basics. I can't do myself in but that is how I feel all the time. I am really struggling to keep going.

 

[Docogu]

You can't do those things in one day also maybe you shouldn't make big decisions when you aren't feeling well. Where are the smart people with the good advice? I can't think of any words of wisdom because really I have none. When I was doing this bad I just came out of it later chemically. I wish I knew what to tell you. I also think when you are doing the worst sometimes that is when you are trying the hardest. You have all these little legs in motion but sometimes no traction. And then when you are feeling better you don't even have to try as hard. I think sometimes the trying and feeling like you're not getting anywhere can be very discouraging.