I Am So Alone and Trapped

[Panther]

I don't get it. I feel like I am the last priority for everyone,that I do not matter, don't count and will always be alone and everyone oblivious..

I live in a house I never asked for and can't maintain by myself.This happened because I met a bad person. I live in a town where everything is too far away from everything else a suburban sprawl mess (I don't drive) and there is nothing to do.I am not like the"usual""normal" culture here.I have no kids nor want kids.To me the culture here is stiff and alienating. I find the few creative people out here...and people know me here they say hi if they see me, but when it comes to making plans to do something fun they flake out. Always something else takes priority.
I take it well,I say maybe another time,I call back later get an answering machine and no call back. I am not the clingy type. I call them about once a week.If I re-scedule something fun,again ,they flake again.
This happens with my sisters.Everyone is SO busy. There is no time left for me.And this hurts.I deal with it.But I wonder why? Why do people SAY they like me,make efforts to come up to me in public but always flake on me.I am so overwhelmed. So much to do,and no help.

I do what I can to pass time.Alone in this house,and sometimes the isolation gets to me.And I just feel waves of dispair.

I feel so trapped.

 

[freya]

I hear you Panther.... I know the feeling, I think, of having the idea that no one cares, that I don't count... I can imagine you feeling trapped....
I don't have any suggestions, just letting you know I care...

Freya

 

[Mercy]

Hi, Panther. I understand how your isolation causes you to dispare. One way out I found was to look back for some of the things I hoped might be in my life and see if I could find them again. My PTSD made that really hard but one thing I allowed myself to do was read. It sounds like you are creative too. What form does your creativity take? Do you write or paint or quilt or sculpt???....Maybe you can find yourself in your creations and then not need to rely on the faulty mirrors of your busy neighbors and sister.:rolleyes:

 

[midi]

Sounds like Mercy's got a good idea. Isolation is difficult.

 

[Deaf Global Nomad]

Some Questions and Thoughts...

Hi Panther!

As this is your first post, I wanted to say welcome. Both my furry friend and I know that you are important. I have been thinking about your issue (as I have experienced that as well) and came up with a few questions or thoughts:

Does your area of the world have disability transportation? In most countries, areas, and cities I have been there is such an entity. None of these services require the person to have a physical disability. PTSD would most certainly qualify as do any other 'mental health issues.' In most cases a doctor, a mental health practitioner, or social worker could explain the need and you would be set up. Plus, as a medical need many rides would be covered by health insurance.

Another thought I had is possibly hiring a personal assistant, personal care attendant, independent living specialist, or even volunteers from churches or community centers. If you contacted the county or state they could probably help you connect with the appropriate people.

I was wondering if there was a place where you would like to volunteer, even just for an hour or two (could be a nursing home, hospital, etc...). If you contacted a place where you would be comfortable they may even have someone (staff or volunteer) who could give you a ride.

I use/do all of these and even though none are a panacea, any little bit may help you feel better.

My puppy sends you hugs!

 

[Cr8ingMagic]

One thing I have found really helpful is to look at what I like to do and see if I can find groups nearby that I can join where people will accept me there because we have common interests, like a craft store up the road where they have classes on doing new kinds of crafts, and a kayaking club I joined. Nobody there knows I am PTSD, so I'm not focused on it, and I feel more accepted. And making friends that way makes me feel less like a square in a round world, and brings more people into my life that don't blow me off or make me feel like I am the very last priority in their lives.

 

[jennifer0506]

I know exactly how you feel, that your worries and your needs are the last one peoples minds near you, that are the ones supposed to care for you.
Taking your mind off these worries i've found helps so much. Finding something that i'm passionate about really does help. I know it only temporarily gets the worries away. I do not know how to get rid of them. My worries however, are often irrational, as i know atleast my boyfriend cares, if not my family.

 

[Mercy]

Panther, do these responses help you?

I am sending you an A+ with two gold stars.:hello: