Relationship I Broke It Off.

[Becksknox]

So I posted awhile back about my boyfriend going into a bad PTSD. Episode right after he moved away to begin our new life. It has taken such a toll on me I've been in bed for 2 weeks straight and I've been unable to function for myself much less my children.

Now I'm frantic and feel like I've deserted him. He knows I am always here for him and he finally admitted he needs professional help.

Did this destroy him more? I feel so bad. But I also know I can't help him and almost any attempt was pushing him further away I felt.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Sending a warm UK :hug:

I am so sorry for you, Hopefully you will find comfort.

 

[Sighs]

Be kinder to yourself. You did the best you could. Ultimately you do not have a magic wand - you cannot heal him. He is not your responsibility. Try to focus on yourself and your children.

Hugs if you accept them.

 

[BlueOrange]

:hug:

Breakups are hard. The one who leaves usually feels guilty, and the one who is left usually feels angry. He's not the only one who is allowed to be flawed - you're allowed to be imperfect too. Don't torture yourself with maybes - it seems pretty clear that you're doing the best you can. That's good enough.

 

[The Albatross]

I think I'd give equal footing to being there for your kids than whether you damaged him further or not. The relationship is optional the kids are not.

 

[Becksknox]

Thank you all!!! A good friend just pointed out that I didn't dessert him, he deserted me and she's right. I have to let go of the guilt.

 

[Pencil]

Read about the Drama Triangle. You're going from Rescuer to Victim and back to Rescuer in quick succession. Step out of the Drama Triangle. With all due respect, it seems as if your are codependent, which is a very uncomfortable way of relating to others. Especially when there are children involved.

 

[Becksknox]

@Pencil, with all due respect, I am not codependent in our relationship. Except for his PTSD episodes which are few but severe we have a very healthy relationship. But thank you for your opinion. And in any healthy relationship there is give and take over time, however that doesn't make one co dependent.