GrayOwl
Gold Member
I relate to every word you said.
I have spent the last 5 years fighting a horrific work situation.
I could offer you some sage advice if the time ever is right.
I have been bullied to an extreme.
3 of my workmates committed suicide.
One died in the workplace trying to accomplish impossible tasks that the bullies pushed him in to.
Dozens of others have been crippled.
I have fought this with every fiber in my soul.
And I have learned a lot.
I have a federal court order that allows me to keep my job - not that I want it - but I need the wages, the insurance, and the pension.
I have spoken with some of the leading authorities in the country on workplace bullies.
I have learned a couple things.
There are few or no laws that protect you. (There are more rules protecting fish than there are workers!)
You feel the negative emotions because you are being attacked. That is what they do to win and try and get their way.
BUT!!! They have no right to treat you that way or to try to make you feel that way, so you are completely within your right to fight that feeling(but do it respectfully and within company policy lest you risk disciplinary action or looking like the aggressor) and feel GOOD about yourself !!! You are surrounded by negative emotions with those aggressive people around and sensitive people (like most of us on this site) are very susceptible to attacks of negativity. So look for positives and positive ways to combat those feelings and get around this..
I had to learn that it was alright to feel that way - because I really was under attack. And I really could have a positive effect on these feelings.
If you get hit by a car, is it alright to feel like you got hit by a car?? YES! Of course it is. Because you were. But that's visible, physical punishment. But you go get help and therapy to get over it.
The emotional toll of workplace attacks is invisible, intangible, yet very, very, very real. And yet we so often begin to think that it must be "normal" or that we did something to deserve this kind of abuse - yes - abuse - because that is exactly what it is - BUT NO! NO! NO! It is not normal, We don't deserve it! We didn't do anything to deserve it! And it needs to stop!
I hate seeing people being treated this way. Sorry if I've gotten on my soapbox, but I know from personal experience how much these things invade every bit of our psyche and our lives and sometimes every thought. And it makes life difficult. I get very triggered and then I want to hide or escape. But I would like to use my experiences to help anybody I can to combat these awful ptsd causing experiences.
So, yes this is very real, but it can be made to get better.
If you ever wish to message me, feel free.
I know of some decent books and websites.
Knowing and understanding what was happening to me and why I was being coerced to feel that way helped me toward a path of recovery, tools I could use, and toward feeling better.
I hope you have a good weekend.
I have spent the last 5 years fighting a horrific work situation.
I could offer you some sage advice if the time ever is right.
I have been bullied to an extreme.
3 of my workmates committed suicide.
One died in the workplace trying to accomplish impossible tasks that the bullies pushed him in to.
Dozens of others have been crippled.
I have fought this with every fiber in my soul.
And I have learned a lot.
I have a federal court order that allows me to keep my job - not that I want it - but I need the wages, the insurance, and the pension.
I have spoken with some of the leading authorities in the country on workplace bullies.
I have learned a couple things.
There are few or no laws that protect you. (There are more rules protecting fish than there are workers!)
You feel the negative emotions because you are being attacked. That is what they do to win and try and get their way.
BUT!!! They have no right to treat you that way or to try to make you feel that way, so you are completely within your right to fight that feeling(but do it respectfully and within company policy lest you risk disciplinary action or looking like the aggressor) and feel GOOD about yourself !!! You are surrounded by negative emotions with those aggressive people around and sensitive people (like most of us on this site) are very susceptible to attacks of negativity. So look for positives and positive ways to combat those feelings and get around this..
I had to learn that it was alright to feel that way - because I really was under attack. And I really could have a positive effect on these feelings.
If you get hit by a car, is it alright to feel like you got hit by a car?? YES! Of course it is. Because you were. But that's visible, physical punishment. But you go get help and therapy to get over it.
The emotional toll of workplace attacks is invisible, intangible, yet very, very, very real. And yet we so often begin to think that it must be "normal" or that we did something to deserve this kind of abuse - yes - abuse - because that is exactly what it is - BUT NO! NO! NO! It is not normal, We don't deserve it! We didn't do anything to deserve it! And it needs to stop!
I hate seeing people being treated this way. Sorry if I've gotten on my soapbox, but I know from personal experience how much these things invade every bit of our psyche and our lives and sometimes every thought. And it makes life difficult. I get very triggered and then I want to hide or escape. But I would like to use my experiences to help anybody I can to combat these awful ptsd causing experiences.
So, yes this is very real, but it can be made to get better.
If you ever wish to message me, feel free.
I know of some decent books and websites.
Knowing and understanding what was happening to me and why I was being coerced to feel that way helped me toward a path of recovery, tools I could use, and toward feeling better.
I hope you have a good weekend.
