I Can't Find My 'safe Place' For Emdr

[Vader77]

This is going to sound odd, but my 'safe place' is the bridge of the Death Star from Star Wars. I'm completely alone, with the amazing view of space in front of me. Is there a movie/book you really enjoy, and can draw images and feelings from? Whatever makes you feel calm/at ease will work, it doesn't have to be real.

 

[jumpingbibi]

Hi, I was very surprised when my therapist hadn't had any patients (or told her) before who couldn't think of a safe place, real or imagined. She found this thread for me to try to help think of one. Anyone reading this may think that my therapist is inexperienced or something negative because of the above. That is untrue, she is wonderful.

Unfortunately, at the moment, I haven't yet related to any of the ideas to figure out a safe place. I'm a paradoxical person who is extremely literal& logical, while also having an imagination. My imagination fights finding a safe place because I can think of many ways to refute the safety of anyone or anything I might consider safe. I'm incredibly frustrated that apparently most people have no difficulty finding a safe place. It shows there is just another attribute that is effed up about me...

I'm very curious about there being such a small amount of the population having difficulty in finding a safe place. Could that mean there's an additional factor of our mentality that isn't yet recognized? I have had panic/anxiety disorders as long as I can remember. Also, the first several traumas that are still problematic occurred when I was very young. I don't know which came first. Could there be a subset of PTSD sufferers who have trouble finding a safe place that could be studied & perhaps discover something about us that could help our recoveries?

About some of the comments I've read...
Your therapist should explain to a degree whatever treatment they are doing, especially EMDR. I'd research & find someone else if my therapist were doing it without explaining it. In one of the posts, it seemed like someone was describing REM therapy. If you are receiving REM treatment, please make sure it's from a well-educated practitioner. Someone can get a 'degree' to learn & treat with REM in less than 2 weeks. I think most people who get an Internet degree requiring very little time to most likely be the type of person trying to take a shortcut for a career. In the psych profession, I believe practitioners should be well-educated & properly certified since they are working on our minds.

I'm grateful to everyone that opened up & commented. It can take courage to do so. Everyone seems to be trying to get better or help others get better with their own experiences. That's a positive sign for having good, corageous people around. It makes the world seem a little safer.

 

[NatBird]

Hi guys, I'm a new member and have recently been diagnosed with PTSD even though I thought I might ha...

I am doing the work leading up to EMDR and was working on 'safe space' and 'resourcing' today. I created a space which is a space I would like to live in in the future. I went into alot of detail about what would be around - elements, textures, colours, sounds, smells, tastes. It seemed to work as we spoke about something that activated me and then went back into the safe space and for the most part it did the job. Obviously hard to say how this would work in midst if EMDR.
Thought: it could be helpful to list examples from each sense that make you feel safe. For example, smell - could be lavender, bergamont, bread cooking. Create using these little blocks and then a space you can connect with viscerally might come. Hope this is helpful and makes sense.

 

[SJL]

Hey. I have the same problem, not being able to find my safe place. Thanks for your good advices.

My problem is also, that I am traumatised from an unjustified detainment by a psychiatric hospital. I went there because I was in a relationship with gasligthing and psychological violence. And instead of helping me with the psycho, I was pregnant with, the psychiatry believed I had a birth psychosis, so they kept me locked in for 3 months.

I was never psychotic, and I was never mentally ill before. But the experiences have given me a tremendeous claustrophobia and fear of hospitals.

Så when my psychologist asks me to find a "safe place" and talks about EMDR, I get re-traumatized, since the psychiatrist at the hospital offered me exactly this kind of therapy as a "reward" if i "admitted to be psychotic". Every time my psychologist uses the words "safe place" and "EMDR", I start shaking and feeling dizzy or like my head is filled with porridge, because it reminds me of the harm caused by the mad psychiatrist, who had the power to keep me trapped for months, even I wasn't ill, but "only" battered.

Is there anything, I can do, so EMDR can help me?

 

[BlueOrange]

Hey SJL,


Have you told your therapist about this? I'm pretty sure you'll need to do so.

I'm more likely to feel safe if I'm aware of the differences between the situation I remember, and the situation that I'm in. I'd suggest working with your therapist to identify those differences.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

I had this problem, as well, in EMDR and hypnotherapy. We finally found something to work with when the therapist asked how various colours made me feel. Turned out, black is my safe colour, because I can be unseen in the dark. That brought us to the night sky, and triggered a good memory of how I would sneak out of the house at night as a kid and lay under the stars. That was the only time that I felt like I could breathe...

 

[Sandstone]

I was reminded of this thread this morning when I found this Qi Gong exercise Seated Qi Gong (Fragrant Buddha)
I have no idea where the name comes from, thee doesn't seem to be anything about Bhudda or Bhuddism in it.

It is a visualisation which also asks you to move into it with your body. So when you see fish, you make the swimming movement with joined hands, although for me it was the movement of a dragon flying above my safe hamlet.

I think I 'm going to run through this several times as an additional way of making my safe place more concrete.

 

[Sari]

This is so helpful to me; thank you. I tried EDMR today and could not think of a safe space either. The few I attempted had bandage or imagination creeping in. These suggestions of inventing one, or trying an object with a good feeling attached, or a color--- I think these will help. It's 2:30 am and I can't even imagine sleeping: I'm exhausted but have had nightmares a lot the past month and apparently have developed a bit of a phobia about going to bed/sleep. I feel better knowing there are sisters and brothers in the struggle who get it and have ideas. Thanks.