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I deserve to fully believe that the PTSD was a normal reaction to much trauma, that it helped me to survive.
I DESERVE TO BELIEVE THAT I DON'T NEED IT ANYMORE.
I deserve to fully believe that the healthy me can resume the running of my life because it is now safe to do so.
I deserve to be shot. I mean, hey. They shoot horses when they go lame, right?
Sorry. warped sense of humor. I don't think I deserve what I've been dished in life. But I don't think there is an alternative, is there?