I Don't Fit In Anywhere

[EveHarrington]

and I hate it.

 

[hodge]

You fit in as far as I'm concerned, Eve.

If you want to expand on what you mean, I'll listen.

 

[aut555]

I don't fit in either but l don't really care. Is there something else going on? Right now with you?

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I felt that way until I was 20 and I met someone similar. You're not alone in this. I thought no one would ever understand me but the fact is, there's always someone you'll fit in with, it just they're in the minority, you know, hiding amongst the mindless mass of zombified morons. ;) :hug:

 

[aut555]

The sheepeoples

 

[The ANP]

I only fit in the miscellaneous category. You?

 

[aut555]

Is there a undefined category?

 

[Seasounds]

That is a bummer. Sorry.

 

[Friday]

This reminds me of this quote :

"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes."

I think it's pretty normal to hate being so out of sync with everyone around you. We tend to make heroes of social misfits (the rebels; the Underground Railroad, the people who worked against the Nazi's from inside the Reich // the inventors // the artists // the scientists // the "rogue" // ...those who dared to go against the tide of many kinds, ), but one has to also realize how cold, lonely, and isolated such a thing can make a person's daily life. Being differen comes often at great personal sacrifice; up to & including one's life. For some reason that sounds romantic to some people??? IDK.

I'd far rather be wrapped up in the warmth and strength of many, fitting in, than be on my own.

But I'd rather be on my own, than to be something or someone I'm not, or do not respect... Just for the sake of fitting in. It's the better of 2 evils, for certain, sure... But being better than the alternative doesn't mean I have to like it!


***

One of my favorite poems of all time is very much on the subject..



IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

- Rudyard Kipling

 

[Deleted member 541]

@EveHarrington Why do you feel that you don't fit in??? Your post here are intelligent, they have compassion when needed and at times they have the ass kicking frankness that I am so fond of. Lol, I have no tact, so I like the straight forwardness, no bullshit approach. So why???

Have you tried to reach out to other people? Have you tried to engage in conversation with others? Do you make the effort or do you isolate and wish that others would call or come over?? Not pointing fingers, I'm truly trying to find out why you feel that you don't fit in.

I hear depression in a couple of your most recent postings, so I'm assuming that this is part of the reason. Depression tends to make us isolate, feel unimportant, unpleasant, unworthy, and a whole host of feelings. It may make us FEEL this way, and yes, when depressed we are not the person that everyone will gravitate to, but depression isn't WHO we are. It's a symptom, it's a run in time that we will overcome. It doesn't last forever, and there are ways to dig ourselves out of it. Very difficult, but doable.

 

[rosey]

@EveHarrington I can see completely why you would hate it and feel that way myself. Having read through the comments I do agree with the suggestions of it being depression and anxiety linked however there could be deeper issues at play.

As a child I was the black sheep from day go. I never felt that sense of belonging or fitting in not to a family, school, friendships anywhere. I continue to have these feelings despite having my husband, children, friends, volunteer work and all manner of places that I try to fit in.

Conclusion is thus = I don't fit in with me. I am not comfortable enough with who I am to project that into fitting in, I always feel like a fake and because I never felt like I fitted in the past it has transferred into the present.

Yes I hate it too.

 

[Neverthesame]

@EveHarrington I seem to remember that the first communication we had on here, was an argument. Lol. I'll admit, I wasn't overly fond of you at first.

Part of being here is of course reading opinions that challenge your thinking. Sometimes it's fairly easy to understand another's viewpoint, sometimes not. Sometimes it can be offensive. This is still useful, as it makes clear your own sense of what is, or is not good for you.

I'll be totally honest here. You have written things here that have offended me. Very possibly, I you.
That being said, I see you often put yourself out of the popular opinion, to express what you feel is right. For someone who has such a hard time with rejection and feeling unwelcome. That takes alot of guts. While I don't always agree with what you say. I have alot of respect for you, for saying it.

In my humble opinion. If you don't fit in here, no one does.

We don't always see eye to eye. But I'm glad you're here.