Thanks for all the replies.
As I expected he didn't end all contact and started sending me messages and a song, which I ignored, but it was only a matter of time before he had an episode of anger and decided to take it out on me again. I stupidly ansewered the phone, when I knew not to and it was just a repeat of every other time he has been angry at me. I'm a manipulative, horrible person who wants to ruin his life, it doesn't matter how much I try to reason with him and point out that the things I have done that he says are intentional attempts at hurting him are actually all pretty normal things, and it is my fault that he no longer works out and has stopped eating well and has put on weight etc etc.
It also came out that he had cheated on me while we were together, with an ex of his (although to be honest I think there were probably more but he is only admitting to this as I told him that I had found out about it through a friend of his exes) Even though I should have known that he cheated, especially once I heard it from someone else, I couldn't believe it until I heard it from him and now I feel so stupid. They would even talk on the phone when he was with me, she had a photo of them together as her facebook profile picture but I just told myself they were still good friends and when their closeness did get to be too much and I tried to ask about it and put some bounderies in place, I didn't try and prevent their friendship I just asked that he not talk about our relationship with her as he had told me that she still had feelings for him, he made out like I was being completly unreasonable and controlling. I feel like such a fool.
Of course it was my fault he cheated and the only reason why he didn't tell me was that he wanted so badly for the relationship to work and so was going to wait until we had a more solid foundation before he told me. Yeah right, the only reason why he stopped seeing her behind my back was that she met someone new and if you really want a relationship to work you don't build it on a lie.
The worst thing is that despite all this I still blame myself and wonder that if I had been more supportive and a better partner and had been more understanding and accomodating of his PTSD would things have been different? I mean, I know that he treated me horribly and that really it seems like he is just using his PTSD as an excuse to act however he wants without any consiquences but I still want him back and worry that I wont be able to not get sucked back into it.
He has said that he wants nothing more to do with me, has told me not to contact him and told me that he will not contact me again but he has said all that before, although this time it seemed more final than the other times.
At the moment the best I can hope for is that he will keep his word and not contact me and that I will eventually get over him because I am not strong enough to prevent him from contacting me if he wants to.
