Welcome to the forum, donovan!
PLEASE don't give up! You would devastate your family! I promise, your loss would PROFOUNDLY affect your children! Growing up without a father is SO hard! Especially, do not take your own life!!! It's the WORST kind of abandonment! The kids would learn that it's an option, and that's just not right!
Have you seen a doctor? There are medical reasons for depressions, as well as a genetic component! Often very talented people deal with depression.
I wanted to die since I was 14. I made several half-hearted attempts, and one almost succeeded. I couldn't cry out...and I realized that I didn't want to die, I just didn't want to hurt anymore! I have wanted to die off and on throughout my life, but I realize that wanting to die, is a distortion of our minds when we are depressed.
Don't give up until you have sought EVERY other way than giving up! I realized that once I had children, I didn't have the right to voluntarily leave them. The "ripple effect" would devastate ALL who know and love you!
There are medications, and therapy! Mental illness is losing the stigma. Your children and wife would NOT be better without you!!! Ask your wife?
Blessings of courage, and peace sent your way!
AJK