Relationship I Finally Did It And I Feel Horrible.

[Becksknox]

I finally cut him off. I've blocked his texts and calls so he has gone to email. Within 2 hours he's switched from being understanding and kind to being so hateful. This is what I feared the most was that if I cut him off it would set him into a rage.

Yesterday when he needed it, I took him to the ER and cared for him. Stayed overnight to care for him. Got up at 5am to iron his clothes, make his coffee and lunch and tonight after I give him what he supposedly has wanted - space, etc, he has lost it and gone off the rails. I'm not responding at all until he calms down, if then.

Did I do the right thing? I know for me I did but I'm so worried about his well being now.

 

[Cassiopeia Lancaster]

You said he wanted space and you gave it to him. Don't worry, you did the right thing.

If you're worried about his welfare, call him and ask how he is.

First, let him calm down. If he gets angry that you're not around, remind him that he asked for it.

Good luck.

 

[Tanishq]

He sounds childish to me. You showed him lot of care and he is doing what, unloading his rage onto you. Wow. Unbelievable.

I think you are doing right to cut him off for a while. Mabe in time he will realize.

 

[Becksknox]

Thank you @Tanishq. It's the hardest thing for me but there's no other way for me to heal when I'm holding on so tight.

 

[Becksknox]

He came by today to pick up a dog we share, for mine and my kids sake bc he doesn't want to take her from them. He asked if we could not talk for a week and see what happens. The longest he's ever gone is 4 days. He's already texted to see if I'm ok.

It hurts and upsets me so bad that he can't just admit his true feelings. I can't understand why when we've shared so much. But it is what it is at this point. Like my therapist said he is choosing to act this way and I can't make him change his mind.

 

[Neverthesame]

I wish I had some advice for you. It is a very unpleasant situation you a are in.

I really don't know what the best thing is, as this is clearly a rocky relationship, one that is causing you and your family alot of grief.

On the other hand it is clear that you care dearly for this man, who I have no doubt is a kind, loving man, when he's doing well. From the way you have described him in other posts here, I can understand why you put up with so much of his shit. I also find to some extent, that I can identify with him in the way you described him. Though I can't condone his bad behaviors, I feel I understand some of the feelings driving them.

Whatever you choose to do, know that you always have a sympathetic ear to vent to here.

Keeping you in my thoughts, hoping for the best.

 

[Sweetpea76]

But it is what it is at this point. Like my therapist said he is choosing to act this way and I can't make him change his mind.

Exactly. He got what he wanted, so you didn't do anything wrong.

 

[Becksknox]

Thank you @Neverthesame & @Sweetpea76 i feel better now as where I was feeling I was in some way letting him down.

 

[Lilmssunshine]

Good for you. That was so nice of you to take care of him. Now it's time to take care of you. You did the right thing.

 

[Becksknox]

@Lilmssunshine Thank you. I just feel like a bad person for it.

 

[Tanishq]

@Becksknox I will disagree with you here.

Good people care for each other. Bad people don't care for each other.

Doing this all makes you good person. It's just you are feeling for him, for his wrong doings. Makes you very human and you are going by sympathy I think.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I believe that you did the best that you could do and it was the right thing to do in my opionon. You did not do anything to deserve the bad treatment he put on you, You are not his whipping post, I think he treated you very badly.