This is a rant that must come out of my head.
For 3 years I have been in a relationship with someone who suffers from combat-PTSD. I caught him in a few lies over the years - stupid lies. Lying about going for a takeout meal instead of cooking at home - truly stupid sh*t that doesn't even matter. Then there were a few bigger lies which I more recently learned about. For example, I learned that he does drink several beers every day - he had originally told me he did not drink every day or maybe had one beer every few days. And even bigger lies - he has been on 4 dating websites the entire time we were together. Now he was not active on these sites - but why didn't he remove his profile? About a year ago he began activity on one of the sites - I just found out. He did not go on any dates, but spoke to these random women for an ego boost and because it felt good to have the attention. Uh, why wasn't a relationship with a supportive, loving and kind girlfriend enough?
He lives in denial. He thinks that this is all the better he can be and will not consider additional counseling. He broke up with me over the phone - after 3 years of a loving relationship. Now I am questioning all of it. I gave him some slack because of his diagnosis. I felt bad because he got his PTSD from serving our country. BUT, I don't think he deserved any of it. Our relationship always had a foundation of lies and I never knew it. He is a shopaholic - spends every dime within a week of getting paid and then has no money for the rest of the month. He is an alcoholic - drinks many beers each day while on muliple types of medication that do not interact well with alcohol. He is a chronic liar - he lies about almost anything, little or big it makes no difference. He can look you right in the eye and you never know he is lying.
This is not a man I need to be involved in. This man needs help. Unfortunately he does not want or think he needs help. He has more problems then PTSD. This man has major personality flaws. And the really sad thing is this ~ he has children who see how their father behaves and they now think this is "normal".
I am done. I am done being disrespected. I am done being taken for granted. I am done with all of it. He is a liar, a cheater and all kinds of other bad things rolled into one.
It seems as I read through the supporter relationship section that I see so many relationships also imploding due to the PTSD sufferer doing similar things as mine did. Is there any hope for any of these relationships? I just don't know.
Why do these kind women/men get involved with sufferers, fall in love, are willing to work through obstacles and yet the sufferer pushes them away for no real reason. I don't get it. I don't think I ever will.
He will still talk to me - but I am feeling more like an option than anything. That is not okay with me, so I am removing myself from that status. I will never be someones "option".
Rant over.
For 3 years I have been in a relationship with someone who suffers from combat-PTSD. I caught him in a few lies over the years - stupid lies. Lying about going for a takeout meal instead of cooking at home - truly stupid sh*t that doesn't even matter. Then there were a few bigger lies which I more recently learned about. For example, I learned that he does drink several beers every day - he had originally told me he did not drink every day or maybe had one beer every few days. And even bigger lies - he has been on 4 dating websites the entire time we were together. Now he was not active on these sites - but why didn't he remove his profile? About a year ago he began activity on one of the sites - I just found out. He did not go on any dates, but spoke to these random women for an ego boost and because it felt good to have the attention. Uh, why wasn't a relationship with a supportive, loving and kind girlfriend enough?
He lives in denial. He thinks that this is all the better he can be and will not consider additional counseling. He broke up with me over the phone - after 3 years of a loving relationship. Now I am questioning all of it. I gave him some slack because of his diagnosis. I felt bad because he got his PTSD from serving our country. BUT, I don't think he deserved any of it. Our relationship always had a foundation of lies and I never knew it. He is a shopaholic - spends every dime within a week of getting paid and then has no money for the rest of the month. He is an alcoholic - drinks many beers each day while on muliple types of medication that do not interact well with alcohol. He is a chronic liar - he lies about almost anything, little or big it makes no difference. He can look you right in the eye and you never know he is lying.
This is not a man I need to be involved in. This man needs help. Unfortunately he does not want or think he needs help. He has more problems then PTSD. This man has major personality flaws. And the really sad thing is this ~ he has children who see how their father behaves and they now think this is "normal".
I am done. I am done being disrespected. I am done being taken for granted. I am done with all of it. He is a liar, a cheater and all kinds of other bad things rolled into one.
It seems as I read through the supporter relationship section that I see so many relationships also imploding due to the PTSD sufferer doing similar things as mine did. Is there any hope for any of these relationships? I just don't know.
Why do these kind women/men get involved with sufferers, fall in love, are willing to work through obstacles and yet the sufferer pushes them away for no real reason. I don't get it. I don't think I ever will.
He will still talk to me - but I am feeling more like an option than anything. That is not okay with me, so I am removing myself from that status. I will never be someones "option".
Rant over.
