I got out today....

[Joey Bones]

Retired six months ago and fell flat on my face. For the most part I only leave the house to go to group Therapy and I've found lately I've even been skipping that. I guess the meds are helping me to sleep and dream better. Dreaming has become my life lately. I decided to get out on the motorcycle today. Stopped by an old friend's and we sat out in the sun and talked for a few hours. Stopped at my brother's for a few minutes then went home for dinner. It didn't feel all that great tbh being retired I guess I still feel lost but it was better than staying at home. Tomorrow I plan on getting up and going to therapy. One step at a time.

 

[Teasel]

Well done

 

[arfie]

well done, indeed, joey. it's not about being perfect. it's about working it out, play by play.

empathy on the retirement shock. i retired in 1995 into circumstances that didn't allow for full isolation and it was a major shock to my system. i don't know which i missed more: the daily social routine or the honorable retreat from the circumstances which didn't allow for full isolation.

the good news is that once the transition passes, being your own boss rocks, hard spots and all.

 

[Friday]

6mo after retirement is as dangerous, suicide wise, as losing a child.

As long as you ARE NOT in the euphoria of the goodbye-rounds? Paying debts & putting right all you can, settling minds/hearts, being good to those you love so they hurt less, later (in theory, but not practice; in practice the survivors blame themselves for not knowing something was wrong) because the pain of the decision is gone, so it’s a few weeks worth of business to sort?

Hell yah. Tear it up. New chapters are nearly always hard, but also f*cking amazing.

So, where ya at? New life or goodbyes?

 

[Lost in the Woods]

Motorcycles are a wonderful retirement interest. I ride almost everyday. Two of my bikes are over 50 years old and the British one requires constant fiddling. I love it all.

 

[Susan Jane]

Retired six months ago and fell flat on my face. For the most part I only leave the house to go to group Therapy and I've found lately I've even been skipping that. I guess the meds are helping me to sleep and dream better. Dreaming has become my life lately. I decided to get out on the motorcycle today. Stopped by an old friend's and we sat out in the sun and talked for a few hours. Stopped at my brother's for a few minutes then went home for dinner. It didn't feel all that great tbh being retired I guess I still feel lost but it was better than staying at home. Tomorrow I plan on getting up and going to therapy. One step at a time.

I am at one thing a day, also at home. One step at a time is my go to. It is rough so I applaud you.

 

[Joey Bones]

6mo after retirement is as dangerous, suicide wise, as losing a child.

Yeah that's definitely been true in my case but it's gotten much better. Going to group Therapy up to 3 times a week, taking meds for depression, started Journaling for the first time in my life. Every unaddressed issue in my life is now staring me right in the face. I'm not sure who I am anymore. Doing my best to keep moving.

 

[Freddyt]

I'm not sure who I am anymore. Doing my best to keep moving.

Funny part is, you are the same guy you have always been. I kinda fought with that one too for a while. But inevitably, I came to the fact I'm the same guy, I just don't go to work anymore.

Now you know you can get out - volunteering is a great way to fill some time and meet new people. There's usually something you can apply your lifetime of talents to and help some cause, or your community, or a club or group.

 

[oliver767]

That’s a powerful post, Joey. Retirement can shake your identity to the core, especially when all the noise and structure disappears. But getting out there, reconnecting, journaling, showing up to therapy, that’s real work. You’re not lost, you’re just mid-transformation. Keep moving. You’re doing better than you think.

 

[Joey Bones]

That’s a powerful post, Joey. Retirement can shake your identity to the core, especially when all the noise and structure disappears. But getting out there, reconnecting, journaling, showing up to therapy, that’s real work. You’re not lost, you’re just mid-transformation. Keep moving. You’re doing better than you think.

Thanks Oliver, I've been experiencing some powerful emotions lol.

 

[Joey Bones]

Thanks everyone for the replies they've all helped which is pretty amazing.

 

[parrotthepolly]

I know exactly how dreaming can become more interesting than being awake in "reality", not much to stay for really. I have randomly decided to visit some friends or acquaintances (not entirely sure what they're comfortable with) before, many times and things don't always go according to plan (if there was one) but just being in a different place really helps clear the mind. My stress cup will overflow if I stay around people too long.

Last time I (attempted to) visited a friend was in March, no one was there, it was raining, I knew it was going to still be raining, I knew no one was waiting there anymore, for me anyway, for the time being, it was vacant but we might meet again once in a blue moon, it wasn't a blue moon and I knew it, it was raining heavily. Guess just wanted to walk in the rain without a task so it felt freeing. Much needed.
Hate to make this about me but stuff crossed my mind, lingers there and I don't want it there.

It's scary how similar and what limited ways brains process information which show up as similar emotions for most people but we all respond differently to it, and proof isolation can't be good long term. Hope you manage to heal someday, you're doing much better than many others.