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I got HELP

It's big for me. HUGE. For many years I've been getting in debt if I can't work, and getting depressed until a point I can't function before I go to therapy. Putting every debt before my health until I can't function because apparently, mental health isn't serious enough to prioritize.
And that's how I got to last week. To scaring everyone in my life, and I knew I needed help- still no ideas though, and no money, or options. And then one of my life-long friends, found me a contact in MY CITY.

She does TRE (tremor release therapy- wasn't sure how it would be, but did yesterday, and it was AMAZING for me). She will have several sessions with me for free,
She asked me briefly the current situation.
She will get me in touch with some people in the food bank whatever so they can do a food drop for me this week, so I don't worry about that.
She will talk to collegues to get me few sessions of talk therapy/psychotherapy for free -not sure, but she will try.
I work online and was worried I am behind enough on internet bills that it will get shut down- and she found organisation to pay 1 bill for me, so I can work.
That woman is a GIFT.

I went to her for therapy. She's trying to get me back my life, and I was an inch from having to 72h hold myself.
I resisted needing this until it got THIS bad, until I was even scared.
And now I'm getting support I never even dreamed of.

I think this may CHANGE my life.
I didn't expect this, or think I deserve it- but obviously there are people that think I do.
And obviously, I would pay it forward, when I can.
But I have to admit now, that I was so close to giving up on everything that I need this help, this GIFT. I can't believe this is happening.
I am in a hole, larger than any one person knows, but I'm finally receiving more help than I dreamed I would. Now I just need to concentrate on work and on getting more income. And ACCEPT the help. Given that I live in a society where help is sometimes considered shameful, I am HUMBLED and amazed that this is happening to me. That someone-more than one person- thinks I am worth that help so I can get back on my feet. Because it is ridiculous, being my age, having education, and drowing in debt. Then again, PTSD is also rediculous sometimes.
So for once in my life, I will shut off my parents' opinion on needing help, and I will accept it, and work with it, and do my best to get better.
I am not religious(more spiritual), but this is like a gift from God, or SOMEONE. So many people believe in me and want me to get okay now. I can't see why yet, but I'm going to take it. And do the best with it until I am strong, until I can hold my own, until I can do the same for others.

So THIS is for everyone out there wondering if they deserve help. Seek it, search it, find it, use it. You deserve it.
You DO. Get help, get better, and then pay it forward. We don't have to go through this alone or wait until we are drowning to seek resources.

@Friday this is what I meant. I'm in such shock that someone thought I was worth this when I was close to thinking I'm fully worthless.
 
i'm happy dancing for you, seeki! ! ! may the breakthrough serve you well. may you learn to recognize that caring for company assets --you, in this case-- is the most important piece of company development. self-care deserves to be a top priority. it's just plain good business.

a recurring scenario in my own life has been where someone notices how sick i am and screams at me, "JUST GET HELP! ! !"

if only getting help was as justy as those helpful folks seem to think it is. as frustrating as finding good help can be, ya just gotta keep shaking those proverbial trees until the right nut falls out.

congrats on a GREAT breakthrough.
 
It's big for me. HUGE. For many years I've been getting in debt if I can't work, and getting depressed until a point I can't function before I go to therapy. Putting every debt before my health until I can't function because apparently, mental health isn't serious enough to prioritize.
And that's how I got to last week. To scaring everyone in my life, and I knew I needed help- still no ideas though, and no money, or options. And then one of my life-long friends, found me a contact in MY CITY.

She does TRE (tremor release therapy- wasn't sure how it would be, but did yesterday, and it was AMAZING for me). She will have several sessions with me for free,
She asked me briefly the current situation.
She will get me in touch with some people in the food bank whatever so they can do a food drop for me this week, so I don't worry about that.
She will talk to collegues to get me few sessions of talk therapy/psychotherapy for free -not sure, but she will try.
I work online and was worried I am behind enough on internet bills that it will get shut down- and she found organisation to pay 1 bill for me, so I can work.
That woman is a GIFT.

I went to her for therapy. She's trying to get me back my life, and I was an inch from having to 72h hold myself.
I resisted needing this until it got THIS bad, until I was even scared.
And now I'm getting support I never even dreamed of.

I think this may CHANGE my life.
I didn't expect this, or think I deserve it- but obviously there are people that think I do.
And obviously, I would pay it forward, when I can.
But I have to admit now, that I was so close to giving up on everything that I need this help, this GIFT. I can't believe this is happening.
I am in a hole, larger than any one person knows, but I'm finally receiving more help than I dreamed I would. Now I just need to concentrate on work and on getting more income. And ACCEPT the help. Given that I live in a society where help is sometimes considered shameful, I am HUMBLED and amazed that this is happening to me. That someone-more than one person- thinks I am worth that help so I can get back on my feet. Because it is ridiculous, being my age, having education, and drowing in debt. Then again, PTSD is also rediculous sometimes.
So for once in my life, I will shut off my parents' opinion on needing help, and I will accept it, and work with it, and do my best to get better.
I am not religious(more spiritual), but this is like a gift from God, or SOMEONE. So many people believe in me and want me to get okay now. I can't see why yet, but I'm going to take it. And do the best with it until I am strong, until I can hold my own, until I can do the same for others.

So THIS is for everyone out there wondering if they deserve help. Seek it, search it, find it, use it. You deserve it.
You DO. Get help, get better, and then pay it forward. We don't have to go through this alone or wait until we are drowning to seek resources.

@Friday this is what I meant. I'm in such shock that someone thought I was worth this when I was close to thinking I'm fully worthless.
So Happy for you. Of course you are worth all the help in the world 💜
 
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