I Keep Going Back...i Cant Let It Go..

[Astrid_Shadow]

Hey everyone...how can I put this...a lot of good has been happening around me and I find myself drifting back into the past...Why do I keep going back to my past instead of focusing on the future...the flashbacks happen when I try to move on..am I gonna be stuck in the past forever...I need help..I don't know what else to do

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Do you have any ongoing theraphy or medications?

It's completely normal to go back in past, it's one of the main symptoms, and a means of recovery, re-exposure is a form of theraphy.

You won't be stuck forever, that is common all or nothing thinking, as you move in recovery, you will be gradually getting better, and worse, as time goes by, but in a general direction of better.

I'm glad you came here :) This place can help a lot

 

[Astrid_Shadow]

Does Mirtazapine count? I'm supposed to go see my therapist, I haven't in months. I'm glad I came here too. I really hope this place helps cause I really don't know what to do anymore.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Believe me, this place helps a lot, when I first came here, I was on the edge of suicide, and really really unstable. I was absolutely all over the place, but members and moderators here taught me a lot, and though there were some tough times, and arguments, I am generally thankful for all the help! Definitely stay here :)

And yea, mirtazapine counts, here in Croatia its often considered the miracle antidepressant that many people strive to get, as it has relatively low side effects compared to other stuff we can get. Are you still taking it, and what kind of dose was it/is it?

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

You should look up grounding, too. Helps to keep us in the here-and-now, which is a struggle for so many of us. There are some good threads in it here if you search.

 

[Astrid_Shadow]

And yea, mirtazapine counts, here in Croatia its often considered the miracle antidepressant that many people strive to get, as it has relatively low side effects compared to other stuff we can get. Are you still taking it, and what kind of dose was it/is it?

You should look up grounding, too.

@Saelben
I know what thats like. I am definitely gonna stay here.
Really? All mirtazapine does is help me sleep.
Yes I'm still taking it even though like I said, all it does is help me sleep.
I am taking 10mg of mirtazapine every night and its not really helping.

@theshadowoftheliving
Grounding? What's that?

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@Astrid_Shadow

Oh, there are plenty of threads around on grounding :) It's basically a way of bringing yourself down into reality from all the thoughts that punch you around and make you spin out

 

[Astrid_Shadow]

Oh. Well that will definitely come in handy.
I'll have to look into it.
Thanks

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Np :hug:

 

[Abstract]

Welcome.

Why do you keep going back? Its horrible I know. That's what trauma is all about. It's when an experience isn't stored in the brain in the usual way. It gets stored in random sensory information and its a little like a misfiled document. It keeps falling off the shelf randomly. The thing that helps is processig the trauma with a safe person in a safe way.

Try to see a therapist that specialises in trauuma if you can,

 

[KayJ92]

I know how you feel.. I do the same thing. For me, I need to know to know the full story of why it happened...

 

[Deleted member 12723]

People around me would be continually telling me to let it go and I would ask them how do you let go and none had an answer for me. The process takes as long as it takes, but take heart, it does get better later on. I have PTSD and will always be struggling at times when I allow things to get to me, or I have contact with a toxic person then I found I have to heal from the bad connection and make healthier choices. I hope that this makes sense.

Your question is a good one and deserves to be answered but it is a journey and so many discoveries are made thus the relearning and unlearning old useless survival skills and finally getting to know the real you buried and hidden inside. I wish you the best. Please do not be hard on yourself. When I was first diagnosed I so wanted to be healed on the fast track and after seven months of therapy, I quit banging my head against the wall and just kept on going with the therapy process.