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I Need Some Input From Sufferers

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Sandi79

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I realize I will never really understand what happened and that everyone is different but I was wondering if what happened with my boyfriend more about his guilt rather than anything else.

Not to give out too many details, he got a job offer last Wednesday, hes been out of work since August. He was really excited. then found out Thursday that he may have a health issue that would prevent him from taking the job. I know now, I should have let him be. I didnt. We talked about the issue, disagreed on the options. I texted my sister, asking her about the issue because she also has this health issue (not the PTSD). Well, that set him off. He got mad, stopped talking to me, said I betrayed his trust, invaded his privacy.I kept apologizing. I apologized over and over. He went to bed, laid down on top of the blankets and fell asleep. I covered him up later and also went to sleep. He woke up at 2 am, said he had to go print something at his dad's and he'd see me later that night. Thats when he never came home, thats when he decided he's no good for anyone.

I keep wondering if he realized he lashed out at me and that his reaction was extreme and he feels guilty for making me feel like a terrible person, thus making him a bad person for doing that to me? I only wonder this because after a woman on facebook tried starting trouble with me after we had this incident, she said she cheated on me with her, she sent me a screenshot that proved nothing, he got very angry..at her. He threatened her, said he'd break her kneecaps if she didn't leave me alone, said that neither he nor I needed this right now from her.

Why be so protective of me, if he isn't even with me anymore? Wouldn't that have given him the easy out? I had told him the night before that I wished he had cheated so I could hate him and move on. It would have been so simple to lie and say he was with her, rather than be so protective of me. After that he deleted and block her on Facebook.
 
So correct me if I understood this the wrong way, you and bf had this fight/incident, then he leaves, then this woman gets protective over HIM and then he gets protective over YOU?

Or are the 2 incidents apart from each other, I couldn't really get a clear picture...
 
Why be so protective of me, if he isn't even with me anymore? Wouldn't that have given him the easy out? I had told him the night before that I wished he had cheated so I could hate him and move on. It would have been so simple to lie and say he was with her, rather than be so protective of me. After that he deleted and block her on Facebook.

I can answer this one question though....he's being ''protective'' because he knows he'll be coming back when he's calmed down.
He's preparing his way back in. Mark my words.

Ps. I put protective in quotations because that's not being protective, that covering something fishy up, whatever it may be. Sorry for being blunt, its well meant.
 
The fact that he said he'd break someone's kneecaps is cause for concern. Not that he would. I don't know.

But that's pretty violent language. Does he talk that way to you sometimes?
 
He has PTSD from his childhood and serving in Iraq. This was just the latest incident of him flipping out and bailing on me,
The protectie thing was over me, he was angry that she was trying to upset me. He didn't cheat, the message she sent with their conversation only stated where he said he wasnt ready for marriage yet and she said she hoped I would screw up with him.

My brain is scattered right now..I know I make no sense.

He has never spoken to me that way, he has only ever gotten that angry once when his brother was being an jerk to me. He has never even yelled at me.

But all these things happened at once, him flipping out about the health issue, then leaving and saying he has problems and has to be away from people, etc. The woman just seemed to latch on to the fact that I removed him from my Facebook and I guess she felt if she could upset me, I would give up on him. I have never once thought he would cheat, of all the things he is, a cheater is not one of them.
 
I dont know if its actually protective or a way to ease back into something with me. A way to be like see I have a use, I can be beneficial to you
 
So if he's so close with this woman that he is talking about your relationship and his feelings towards marriage, is she a mutual friend?

Cause in any other case I would have my doubts about it. I'm not implying he cheated, not at all...just inding it weird that ''just a woman he talks to'' would message you after a fight between you and him.

Just be careful, we dont want to see you get hurt.

I don't think I can be objective about this, so I refrain from further advice..hope you guys can sort it out.
I answered your Q about masturbation addiction btw, on my own thread.

Best,
Deedee
 
They went to school together as kids, she used to date him about 20 years ago. According to his best friend, she's referred to as his "stalker".
 
Why is he in contact with this stalker? Why on earth would he talk to her about his feelings if she's a stalker?

Again, I can only speak from what I read in your posts and I dont know you or him, but reading this gives me a red flag alert...
 
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