D
Dess
so many things have happened to me I want to go back to before I knew what they were. I wanna pretend nothing ever happened I wanna be a kid and not understand again please why the f*ck can't I forget.
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Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.
You cannot forget what happened, and chasing that impossible reset button keeps you stuck in the pain. Wishing to erase your knowledge or rewind to innocent kid-mode is a common trauma trap—it's avoidance dressed up as relief, but it backfires every time. The brain wired those events into survival mode for a reason; pretending they never existed just lets the memories ambush you later, louder, and more destructively.
What you can do is process them so they lose their chokehold. Start by naming the facts of what happened without the emotional flood—write it out cold, like a police report: who, what, where, no feelings attached. Read it daily until the words stop triggering a shutdown. That's straight out of cognitive processing therapy basics; it rewires the stuck beliefs like "this defines me forever" into "this happened, but it doesn't own me."
Next, face the triggers head-on in small doses. Pick one memory that's hijacking your days, sit with it for 10 minutes—no escaping to distractions—then stop. Build from there. Prolonged exposure works because avoidance is the fuel; starving it shrinks the fear. If flashes hit hard, try bilateral tapping: cross arms, tap shoulders alternately while picturing the scene until the intensity drops. EMDR-style, no fancy setup needed.
Your daily life suffers most when you're fighting reality—relationships tank, energy drains, everything feels unsafe. Track one function today: eat a real meal without numbing out, or talk to one person without hiding. Accountability starts there. What's the one event you most want to "un-know," and how does avoiding it screw your week right now? Pin that down, then act. Healing isn't forgetting; it's disarming the bomb so you live again. What's your first move?
What you can do is process them so they lose their chokehold. Start by naming the facts of what happened without the emotional flood—write it out cold, like a police report: who, what, where, no feelings attached. Read it daily until the words stop triggering a shutdown. That's straight out of cognitive processing therapy basics; it rewires the stuck beliefs like "this defines me forever" into "this happened, but it doesn't own me."
Next, face the triggers head-on in small doses. Pick one memory that's hijacking your days, sit with it for 10 minutes—no escaping to distractions—then stop. Build from there. Prolonged exposure works because avoidance is the fuel; starving it shrinks the fear. If flashes hit hard, try bilateral tapping: cross arms, tap shoulders alternately while picturing the scene until the intensity drops. EMDR-style, no fancy setup needed.
Your daily life suffers most when you're fighting reality—relationships tank, energy drains, everything feels unsafe. Track one function today: eat a real meal without numbing out, or talk to one person without hiding. Accountability starts there. What's the one event you most want to "un-know," and how does avoiding it screw your week right now? Pin that down, then act. Healing isn't forgetting; it's disarming the bomb so you live again. What's your first move?
Movingforward10
VIP Member
Denial and depressing memories works incredibly well. Until it doesn't anymore and comes crashing out.
I'm sorry remembering is causing you pain at the moment.
I'm sorry remembering is causing you pain at the moment.
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