I Need To Leave. Can't Do This Anymore.

[a3a2]

Dear Padfoot,

Details of your situation are a bit vague, but certainly your daughter's autism put you in a unique and somewhat difficult situation.

From what I understand, about a year ago, in an effort to escape (abuse?), you moved to a familiar area. I am guessing you have (un-supportive) family members living there, or at least, really bad memories. You feel as if staying there will psychologically damage you.

At the same time, your daughter has really blossomed in this place. No small feat for an autistic child (I really believe you must be applauded for your role in this transition). You don't want to remove her from this place.

As I see it, these are your choices:

1. You can leave your daughter in the care of someone there, and leave. I don't recommend this, as it would be difficult for any child to be left by a primary care giver, but especially for a child with autism.

2. You can circle the ending date of her school term, count down the days, and make your transition then. If you do this, I would strongly recommend you really think through where you are going to settle, so you don't have to uproot again anytime soon.

3. You can circle the date on the calendar at the end of your daughter's year four, start working on some serious coping strategies (therapy should be one!) and stick it out the year (one day at a time). This would also give you a year to look for that next home.

4. You can tell your child you are taking a great adventure together (where?) and go.

Did I pretty much get things right here?

 

[Padfoot]

It was already decided where we would go, but by that time school had started so I decided it would be better to stay here. Things are getting worse and worse by the day. I'm living with constant criticism and negativity, being told all the things I can't do. It wasn't an abusive situation, it was a single assault but we were being stalked beforehand, both of us were.

So our final destination has been decided, I should have moved in '09 before she started school but decided to stay where we were because I hadn't owned the house long enough for it to be a wise financial decision. Then I just got stuck in that rut of life where the child was in a good school, I owned a home and felt secure with that idea, my work was in the same area, we literally didn't have to drive more than 10 minutes for school, work, sports, groceries, anything. Everything we needed was in that area.

So I chose to stay there and would reassess at the end of my daughter's primary schooling, still hoping to leave her at the school until she graduated. The school she was at had amazing learner support. The one she's in now has a Special Education Unit and she's thriving. The one she'll be attending has a small program but it's only a small school too of less than 100 students from Prep to Year 7. From a logical perspective it's best to wait, from an emotional perspective it's best to leave now.