Probably a general fear of bs in any form. We've been too skinned to tolerate the cognitive dissonance. bs-O-meter set on "way sensitive."I was lucky my dad was a good man, even if there were ~difficulties- not even the appropriate word, possibly even (or likely) ptsd.
But I never really acknowledged a few men after or otherwise really screwed up my trust.
I have problems for some reason thinking of God as a 'Father' in a positive way.
I fear Heaven and don't know why. Go figure?.