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I Realize That I

I realize that I expect people to try to understand my PTSD and to study it before trying to help me. I now also realise that they probably never will and I need to except their ignorance, knowing they probably couldn't cope with the truth.

I realize that I was afraid that a set back would cause me to loose the progress I have made - I was wrong.

I realize I am much further on than I thought, that I am now very intuitive about people and have started standing up for myself. I still tremble with fear and anger when I confront someone but I do it anyway...

I'm getting better at the rebounding now, but oh how I don't like the icky feelings after an event like that.
...And this is how I end up feeling too Alba and, like you, I rebound quicker.
 
I realize that I belong to God, not myself, but that I don't always do what God expects of me. Then I am hard on myself, of course. Yet in the Bible it says that we are all human and fall short of the glory of God. But I forget to remember that in my moments of self criticism.
 
I realize that I'm badly triggered when people try to shut me up. I almost can't even control the reaction that comes as a result. Asking someone who has been groomed to shut up when they're openly expressing themselves is a really bad idea. I wish I could communicate that to people without screaming at them. For now I'm not able to.
 
I realize that I'm triggered right now. And that I'm taking everything the person who is triggering me does and doesn't do and says or doesn't say personally. I realize that most of my anxiety nervousness and fear are a result of distorted thinking. I realize that I get an idea in my head that compulsive thinking struggles to let go of. I realize that so much of this is a battle between symptoms and my desire to get better. I realize that I'm scared. I'm just so scared. And I realize that I don't know what to do with all of this fear. I realize that I don't know how to make this go away on my own.
 
I realise that I am no longer bound up in logic when it comes to my internal world. That I have managed to connect to my emotional self, often.

I realise I am no longer bound up in my emotional world when it comes to others vulnerabilities, often. That I am much more connected to myself whilst dealing with others.
 
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