I Refuse To Give In To Manipulation Tactics Anymore

[The Albatross]

I'm glad that you received some support about what you are feeling and thinking from your priest and your father. I sat in the balcony crying when I had a problem with my husband. He was a deacon at the time and it was painful to me to watch him. I cried every Sunday for about 2 months. Then I had the conversation (it took me that long to say what was upsetting me). He knew but wouldn't ask.

Set that boundary and I am glad you are getting the support of your priest.

 

[Rumors]

You can't help that your mom is bat-shit crazy SOL. Don't let her ruin your time at church or your spirit. When you can make peace with the fact that she is obviously ill, then perhaps you won't give her any power to get under your skin. You, however, are mastering the skills of dealing with her as it pertains to your boundaries.

I hope one day she won't effect you and you won't care if she shows up to your church or not. Don't give her any power!!! Good luck!

 

[LhasaLover]

Hi ScaredOfLoney,

Sounds like you Mom may be attention-seeking. I know it's really disappointing having your mother crash everything!

My readings tell me to detach: you can with prayer, love some say anger. Reclaim that time for yourself!

She may need some spirituality as she gets older and have no clue how to find it. She may follow you around with no boundaries, but I have learned they are not going to change. The only people we can change is ourselves.

I've had the same thing with my family. They only stopped doing it when they don't live around me. I take it as practice to be myself without having to explain them away. A lot of times people like them and it even causes more disruption because they have no clue that I have been abused by all of them.

My father is probably the least of my worries, but the PTSD is there. My mother is pathological in taking over events and seeking out her needs without a thought about anyone else. My brother is very selfish, cruel and charming and my father is trying to get better but still drinking wine every night (kind of cancels itself out). Bless my father for trying to work on himself and address his issues. Everyone loves them in social settings. People call them "sweet"... Yup! And I cannot tell you the horrors they have put me through.

Hang in there hon!

-LL