General I think I may need a therapist too.

[LuckiLee]

We had a trip to Texas for J's work conference. Last year he was on the sidelines but this year he was front and center a lot. He had to be "on" all week. Needless to say we were stressed.

Came home. Worked a day. Had significant shoulder pain. Thought I pulled my rotator cuff. Went to doctor. Told to rest and take motrin. 2 days later. Boom! Rash. Back to doctor. Shingles. Ugh!!

Nobody we know has had it recently. I think it was caused by stress. I worked my ass off trying to keep J's shit together while we were at his conference. The airport was hell.

So, I'm thinking about a T and not happy about it. I don't really have any questions but I'll take all the advice I can get.

 

[LuckiLee]

Advice from supporters and sufferers welcome. Thanks! XO

 

[DharmaGirl]

I think someone who could teach you self care and relaxation would help. Not a T so much but maybe yoga, meditation, stuff like that. I find that doing things I like helps my stress. What do you normally do to keep stress low. I listen to audiobooks, paint, redo furniture, do fix it projects, meditate, journal. It's all part of keeping my symptoms at bay. I hope this is somewhat helpful.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I think it’s a good idea. This shit is not for the faint of heart.

 

[Charbella]

Most therapists have a therapist and since your Js therapist (second one) and life coach it seems like a good idea.

 

[Friday]

Great therapists? Are amazing friends you didn’t meet 5 years ago with EXACTLY the perspective you need now. (So? We hire people, who are f*cking amazing at their jobs, since we didn’t know them before we needed them.)

Bad therapists? Destroy you / your family. And can f*ck right off.

You’re smart enough to differentiate.

Pay someone you’d love to have a bill drop into their bank whenever you two hang out & work through hard/heavy shit.

***

Allies, chica. You rate them. Just choose good ones, so I don’t have to hitchhike to MI to thump you. SO annoys me I’m not on the Empire Builder twice a week & could just crack a cold one with you.

When I joined this forum? I was passing through to Chicago twice a week. Now? The people I’d love to see most could as well be on Mars. VEXING doesn’t begin to describe.

Find a good therapist, then? Kick them to the curb for a great one.

Because I said so.

 

[Dynamic]

with you & dont know what to say

I think its a good idea for you <3

would you rather a male or female? does it matter?

 

[LuckiLee]

Thanks everyone! Your feedback is greatly appreciated.

I think @DharmaGirl is on to something. I can't see coming home from a trip like that and sitting around calmly talking about what went down and my feelings would help me.

But, hitting balls at the batting cage or driving range or a drum exercise class could definitely be stress relievers. And more hikes and chats with bestie. More me time.

This was a more difficult trip because I couldn't respond to the b.s. or it would have been a complete mess. We weren't able to talk about what was going on privately, like we usually do. There wasn't time so it just built up. Like I said, he had to be Mr. Corporate Man all week so he wasn't able to feel calm or safe for days on end. He sat in the front row all week during his meetings/classes. <<<Huge trigger and stressor. He hides his disabilities from everyone. Even his employer who hired him because of his disabilities (experience, education and leadership). Go figure

We discussed everything and are working on ideas for next time.

So, note to self. More physical activity, fresh air, chats and hikes. Maybe throw in some meditation or yoga. Eat healthy. Keep communication open with J. Oh, and a new project/hobby.
ME TIME!!

What would a T add? Besides a bill? (lol)

 

[Friday]

But, hitting balls at the batting cage or driving range or a drum exercise class could definitely be stress relievers. And more hikes and chats with bestie. More me time.

So there’s this thing called Secondary PTSD… which is NOT getting PTSD from someone who has it… but IS adapting to PTSD being “normal” and requires the same durn kind of stress cup management.

 

[Dynamic]

I’d say accountability I never expected is something I got from T. She cared so much about things I couldn’t even see.

 

[LuckiLee]

I know @Friday . Winter always kills the self care.

What kind of things, @Defaultxlove?

 

[Dynamic]

Oh man ummm @LuckiLee

Like if I thought something was kosher (how I was managing myself or time) she had better ideas for me. That also would solve some other issue we talked about previously as a general example

I just remember thinking

Wow she really cares about my success in overcoming this

She pointed out a lot of things for me to challenge

She saw possibility I never did because I was so down

I thought I was caring for myself well and she admired that..but also pushed me in a healthy way toward more health.

handful of times she also surprised me in challenging things I thought needed no fixing

For example in handling relationships. I thought I was doing great but she could point out things that I was doing - which didn’t support my goals

I used to always say she had parts of my brain for me.