I Think I Need Help

[sezra]

So, im sat here talking to a good friend of mine on facebook. I have an overwhelming urge to say to her, i need help. I feel ashamed!

I've been drinking of course, it helps. My girlfriend suffers, my family suffer... I dont like what i've become.

I have done 2 tours of afghanistan and i notice the sympotms of ptsd... I've done the course to help recognise the symptoms in my colleagues, but i still cant bring myself to talk to anyone. Who would understand? I need help, I need to talk. I feel so ashamed.

 

[hemlock]

If you are a soldier in the US armed services, please contact the mental health specialists on base immediately. If you are worried about it being reported, you can contact the suicide prevention team -- they will keep it anonymous and can give you recommendations on how to obtain assistance outside of military auspices. You also can look up on the internet information on civilian mental health practitioners that work in your city, assuming you reside in the States.

Most important, there is NO WEAKNESS in getting help. You would be taking the coward's way out in not getting help since you already know you need it. PTSD is nothing to f**k around with. There is help to be found -- don't wait, it only compounds the problem.

Irrespective of how you or others feel about the conflict abroad, you have sacrificed so much on many levels and that is to be respected and honored. Don't add to the long list of sacrifices by ignoring this very real issue, you would be causing irreparable damage.

 

[sezra]

i'm british... and ex army.... these services are not open to me. I feel trapped. i feel stupid talking to my family. my girlfriend will surely not understand. I dont know where to turn

 

[hemlock]

Oh Sezra, I'm sorry my suggestions are of no use to you. Argh! Hopefully there are some Brits on the board that will pop in with some answers on how to go about getting assistance.

I'm on another forum that is specific to experiences in therapy and a wonderful forum member posted contact information for a crisis line in the UK -- (Samaritans). I don't have enough posts to permit me to add a link to the website but the phone number is 08457 90 90 90. The site itself is samaritans(dot)org. (Anthony, I hope it's okay if I put it in that format, not trying to skirt the rules but thought it might be helpful to Sezra and others.)


Surely (hopefully!) they would be able to help you with next steps.

 

[Zipperhead]

I have found allot of comfort from the aninimaty of a key board. I can tell the truth here, and on the Combat PTSD forum, and not worry about anyone pointing at me in a mall and wispering. Still, in Canada, I have also found the DVA as a helpful tool to get the help I need. If you don't have that over there, try your Legion. The Legion here was hard to deal with, but they are on your side, and they know who to call. The British Legion is modelled on the same constitution. They will help you, wether your a member or not. I can't make you go there. I can't hold your hand. But I can make you a promise. If you go, they will help you.

 

[kayak]

Hey, you are not weak at all!! And don't ever feel ashamed of needing help. We've all been there and felt that way too, and it's OK. It's really all OK. I hope you find help. And until then, consider hanging out here for awhile and getting what support you can from us.

 

[ClairBear226]

Zip, I'm glad to see you found this. You were exactly who I thought would have some good advise for this situation. I scrolled down, and found you were already here. :)

Sezra, I feel that way too. I think the hardest words in the English language to say are, "I need help", so I'm the last person in the world that has a right to tell you to face that fear. But if you truly want help, there's really only one way to get it. You're going to need to speak up. You've made it through 2 tours in the sandbox. You can do this. Head up, shoulders back, deep breath, and go.

Let us know how you're doing, okay?

 

[Anna]

i'm british... and ex army.... these services are not open to me. I feel trapped. i feel stupid talking to my family. my girlfriend will surely not understand. I dont know where to turn

Here is a link for help in the UK

http://www.ptsdresolution.org/

Link Removed

 

[pontifixmax]

So, im sat here talking to a good friend of mine on facebook. I have an overwhelming urge to say to her, i need help. I feel ashamed!

I've been drinking of course, it helps. My girlfriend suffers, my family suffer... I dont like what i've become.

I have done 2 tours of afghanistan and i notice the sympotms of ptsd... I've done the course to help recognise the symptoms in my colleagues, but i still cant bring myself to talk to anyone. Who would understand? I need help, I need to talk. I feel so ashamed.

Its exceedingly difficult for men to admit they need help since there is an expectation that they always be in control of their emotions. This is even more pronounced for men who are in the service or related fields since being in control of oneself and cutting off any emotional response that may interfere with this is so vital for survival. While I am not in the service I do work in a civilian position that exposes me to alot of crisis and violence involving life and death situations so I can relate somewhat. For many years I was in the same place you are at, not being able to bring myself to talk to anyone about my traumatic stress resulting from both childhood and my professional life, not feeling that people could understand, and lots of drinking and isolating myself from loved ones like you mentioned. Feeling ashamed that I couldn't help myself was also omni-present. Anyways I wouldn't wish those years on anyone and I can tell you from experience that it doesn't repair itself on its own so better to ask for help now than later, or never for that matter. I've learned that talking about my trauma is the only way for me to get better. Yes its very hard at first but strange as it sounds the more I talk about it the easier it gets, not worse. On that note please reply if you need someone to talk to OK? We may not have shared the same life experiences but that doesn't mean we won't understand each other. Take care for now.

 

[Blondie362]

I have a friend who did two tours of Iraq , he is now out but suffers extreme PTSD, he does have alot of back up with the NHS and goes to a place called Headley Court for ex servicemen for two or three weeks at a time.

Another friend of mine has returned from Afghan, coldstream guards and after being officer potential material and the army being his life is very disillusioned with what he has seen with the back up for the lads who are suffering with PTSD, my friend lost 4 of his mates in an IED incident- he's coming out this year.

http://www.ptsdresolution.org/ or [DLMURL]http://www.assisttraumacare.org.uk/[/DLMURL]

Please don't try and battle this alone.

 

[Julliete]

Hello Sezra,

Welcome to the board. it takes so much strength to acknowledge you need help. Never feel ashamed, I have been there too. Give love and understanding to yourself - wanting help for ptsd is nothing to be ashamed of... it's courageous. I am a new member here but this is a very welcoming place and a good place to start 'talking"... Hopefully you can feel comfortable to start sharing here.

I see there are several suggestions...Perhaps there is a ptsd group meeting that you can belong to locally? The local mental health services may be able to direct you to group therapy for ptsd (even if it is not specific to combat the experiences and struggles have many similarities )...