OptimisticRealist
Learning
Hi, I've just discovered this site, and after reading multiple threads, decided to throw my recent experience into the ether and see what feedback you guys have for my situation. Ok. So.
My best friend of over 8 years, girlfriend of a year, has recently been diagnosed with cptsd due to childhood trauma, followed by a 14 year relationship that was very abusive- mostly emotional but also some sexual/physical abuse. I've been researching cptsd as much as possible, we're in therapy as individuals and as a couple to try to navigate this as responsibly as we can. I've had some concerns about her safety when she goes out drinking- she blacks out frequently either from alcohol or dissociating or both, and she has trouble identifying people's motives when they approach her. I knew bringing my feelings up about these issues would be triggering for her because her ex used these same feelings as an excuse to control her, but I also felt that my feelings were valid, so I brought these things up in a session with our therapist (I gave my gf a couple hours notice about the topics I wanted to discuss so she wouldn't be caught off guard). The conversation ended up being very triggering, and now things are strained between us. I'm currently giving her space because she is having trouble articulating her wants/needs about this. This is the second time she's been triggered by something I've said that reminded her of her ex. The first time I had no clue what cptsd was, neither did she. This time I tried to bring my feelings and concerns up in the most emotionally healthy way possible, but I still feel like I made a huge mess and should have waited until she is a little farther along with trauma therapy to bring up things that are triggers. We have known each other for so long, and typically work our way through any communication snafu. This feels different and I'm not sure what else to do besides give her space. Thoughts??
My best friend of over 8 years, girlfriend of a year, has recently been diagnosed with cptsd due to childhood trauma, followed by a 14 year relationship that was very abusive- mostly emotional but also some sexual/physical abuse. I've been researching cptsd as much as possible, we're in therapy as individuals and as a couple to try to navigate this as responsibly as we can. I've had some concerns about her safety when she goes out drinking- she blacks out frequently either from alcohol or dissociating or both, and she has trouble identifying people's motives when they approach her. I knew bringing my feelings up about these issues would be triggering for her because her ex used these same feelings as an excuse to control her, but I also felt that my feelings were valid, so I brought these things up in a session with our therapist (I gave my gf a couple hours notice about the topics I wanted to discuss so she wouldn't be caught off guard). The conversation ended up being very triggering, and now things are strained between us. I'm currently giving her space because she is having trouble articulating her wants/needs about this. This is the second time she's been triggered by something I've said that reminded her of her ex. The first time I had no clue what cptsd was, neither did she. This time I tried to bring my feelings and concerns up in the most emotionally healthy way possible, but I still feel like I made a huge mess and should have waited until she is a little farther along with trauma therapy to bring up things that are triggers. We have known each other for so long, and typically work our way through any communication snafu. This feels different and I'm not sure what else to do besides give her space. Thoughts??