The other morning I woke up and jumped in the shower and my mind began racing like it normally does, but when done with my shower, I ran to my laptop and typed out the following song lyric's as fast as I could.....now they are rough and need work still, but this tells my story and how I feel on a daily basis. I am ex military (83-89) and most of my problems are from an auto accident that happened 3 yrs ago when my son was driving his first car and I was with him, he had an air bag and I didn't. Please let me know what you think. I am going to record it and will post it up when I do.
I once was a normal kid, full of life and happiness, but something got a hold of me. I graduated school like every kid I knew, and chose to join the military.
Somehow I knew later this would have a great effect on my life, I was proud that I joined and knew I would be protecting my country and family.
Chorus:
I may look fine on the outside, but no one knows about the war inside, that I fight every single day. It is different every time in a Foxhole, LZ, or PTSD you can’t put a name on it so I had to stop trying. It is tough on my family and they get sick of me and my crying, but what can you do when you’re at war with yourself and they can’t see that you feel like you live a loveless life? There may be no bullets flying, but just the same you feel like you’re dying, dying inside, just a little more each day.
I saw a friend die in Guam and at that time, I was strong and never cried. I was taught as a boy never to do that, but now, I do it all the time.
Sometimes driving down the road I cry over nothing due to this crazy brain injury. I cry when taps is played, when they play reveille and Old Glory is raised, but nothing gets me more than when the National Anthem is played.
Chorus:
I've lived through a couple of personal miracles in my life, a massive heart attack and a severe auto accident that could have taken my son and my life and scared the death outta my wife.
I consider myself a lucky man to be alive, but now my insurance company and social security have backed out, when I am not stable enough to work and support my family.
Chorus:
As soldiers we fought for your life, your constitution and your way of life, now we come back to find that we have changed inside,
Why is it so tough to understand you can only take so much as a good man, until you break inside and your mind races out of control.
I don’t want sympathy, just understand and stand proud with me, you know I am a little run down, so just love and care for me.
War Inside
I once was a normal kid, full of life and happiness, but something got a hold of me. I graduated school like every kid I knew, and chose to join the military.
Somehow I knew later this would have a great effect on my life, I was proud that I joined and knew I would be protecting my country and family.
Chorus:
I may look fine on the outside, but no one knows about the war inside, that I fight every single day. It is different every time in a Foxhole, LZ, or PTSD you can’t put a name on it so I had to stop trying. It is tough on my family and they get sick of me and my crying, but what can you do when you’re at war with yourself and they can’t see that you feel like you live a loveless life? There may be no bullets flying, but just the same you feel like you’re dying, dying inside, just a little more each day.
I saw a friend die in Guam and at that time, I was strong and never cried. I was taught as a boy never to do that, but now, I do it all the time.
Sometimes driving down the road I cry over nothing due to this crazy brain injury. I cry when taps is played, when they play reveille and Old Glory is raised, but nothing gets me more than when the National Anthem is played.
Chorus:
I've lived through a couple of personal miracles in my life, a massive heart attack and a severe auto accident that could have taken my son and my life and scared the death outta my wife.
I consider myself a lucky man to be alive, but now my insurance company and social security have backed out, when I am not stable enough to work and support my family.
Chorus:
As soldiers we fought for your life, your constitution and your way of life, now we come back to find that we have changed inside,
Why is it so tough to understand you can only take so much as a good man, until you break inside and your mind races out of control.
I don’t want sympathy, just understand and stand proud with me, you know I am a little run down, so just love and care for me.
