I Wish My Parents Had Taught Me...

[maddog]

For those of us who grew up without the guidance and support of a caring humane family, I think there are many things we simply never learned. I'm not talking about how to bake a cake or change the tyre on a car, i'm talking about life, living, and being true to yourself. I'm talking about the lessons that you can't quite learn anywhere else, the very same lessons it's taken me most of my adult life to realise I never learned.
If we could go back now and choose just a few of those lessons that would make our journey through life a little easier, what would they be? Here are a couple that feel very real to me right now.

It's ok to ask for help and to accept it. It doesn't make you weak, or needy, it just makes you human.

It's ok to cry. It takes more strength to admit that you are hurting and sad than to deny that these things are true.

It's ok to not always be perfect. Doing your best is always good enough.

Most people try to do their best most of the time. That's all you can ask of them, and it's all they can ask of you.

Maddog

 

[sea]

How to be human. :unsure:

 

[Deimos]

That actually applies to any family. My folks have been married for 37 years and I'm the oldest of 6 kids. While it was a loving family, there were many things (most of what you listed) that they never tough us kids. It may have been just my perspective as the oldest and also being male but I never felt I could show weakness. Every family has their faults. I know my Inlaws have their fair share lol.

 

[mamachick]

It is how to be human but a very good point made. After raising 3 daughters, I know that it is not enough to teach, parents need to model that behavior. If you want your kids to be comfortable asking for help and accepting, do it yourself and accept graciously. We are a generation that caters to our kids at times, we tach them that they deserve respect, but sometimes forget to teach them to respect us. We give, we need to allow them to give early in life.

Maddog, you are so right. Sometimes we try to be strong as parents and not show weakness, this will teach our kids to do the same. I think that is why some will not admit they are wrong, this was not modeled for them either.

 

[Abrasky]

I wish my parents had taught me what it was like to not be treated like a commodity. A commodity to me feed and grow them, but no hugs kisses and use them as slaves.

 

[NIKI]

I wish my father would have taught me more then "Life sucks and then you die." (his actually words of wisdom for me)

 

[Muzikluvr]

I wish my parents had taught me to stand up for myself in the face of adversity. That the truth matters more than what other people believe. That the truth cannot be changed by not believing it.

I wish my parents had taught me to stand up for others. That we're all connected in this world and what we say and do affects everyone else. That people we hurt, hurt others, either directly or by hurting themselves more and causing their loved ones to suffer. That watching someone being bullied and doing nothing to help is hurting the victim as much or more than the bully is hurting the victim.

I wish my parents had taught me that the rules of society that I must adhere to so closely, are actually based in morals and values, and are not all punishable offenses. That sometimes, we follow those rules because it is the right thing to do... and sometimes we break those rules because it is the right thing to do. That there is no "right and wrong" that is consistent enough to teach to a computer, there is a part of each of us that learns what we deem acceptable behavior (usually through experience), and that part of us is our guide. Our guide is unique. And that is okay.

 

[sea]

That watching someone being bullied and doing nothing to help is hurting the victim as much or more than the bully is hurting the victim.

I think your parents taught you that very well. By example.

:mad: Jerks.

 

[kimberley dawn]

I wish my parents had the ability to teach me what love is. How to give and how to recieve this thing others call love.

 

[goingonhope]

I wish my parents could have told me or taught me, whom or where I could run to and be and feel safe and while me not having to choose between scared-to-death and somehow involved, .....or else no-where to go, all alone, wandering, lost, lonesome and scared.

 

[mamachick]

Kimberly -I can relate. My T has told me that I protect my heart at all costs. I keep my heart closed when I am afraid. I dont know how to change that.

 

[maddog]

Such truth and honesty in these responses.

Talking to my T tonight. So, so much pain and emotion these past days... weeks... somehow tonight we found a little time and space to just talk, to just "be" like two human beings enjoying some quiet pleasant company together.

Walking home afterwards, I wished my parents had taught me that some people are good, and safe, and humane. They did their best to teach me the exact opposite, and I learned my lesson well. Sometimes, like tonight, I feel such grief for all of the simple things in life and humanity that I've missed.

Maddog