Eleanor
Diamond Member
dmeadz, your analysis sounds dead on to me. So the next step is to try to make up for the hurt in whatever way is possible and appropriate and to try to talk through supporting each other in not playing out this dynamic in the future. Changing habits is a process, and it takes several trials to get it right - that's just the reality. The upside is that it can be very affirming to have someone actively trying to change for You.
The thing is that responsibility is not a zero sum game - that is, two people can EACH be 100% responsible for a situation. It's not a pie that gets divided up 60/40 or something. So the other person needs to be conscious of how they contributed to this situation, take responsibility for their response to the well intentioned teasing, and help break the pattern. Hope that doesn't muddy the waters too much...
The thing is that responsibility is not a zero sum game - that is, two people can EACH be 100% responsible for a situation. It's not a pie that gets divided up 60/40 or something. So the other person needs to be conscious of how they contributed to this situation, take responsibility for their response to the well intentioned teasing, and help break the pattern. Hope that doesn't muddy the waters too much...
