If this is a distortion which is it?

[Kubash16]

I was one of the kids Freida is talking about. My dad didn’t directly commit suicide, he just refused doctors orders and lived like he had no reason to live. I was the only with him during his final heart attack and was the one to make the 911 call. Listening to others’ 911 calls still haunts me, I blamed myself (still do some days) for not being good enough for him to try and live healthier, my first suicide attempt was on the first anniversary of his death. I was only 13 when he died. Please don’t put your kids through that. I have a lot of problems surrounding things my dad did and his part in raising me, but none of that compares to the pain of losing him like that.

 

[IceQueencop]

@FauxLiz, can you see your SI as part of re-living you trauma? I don’t know that it is or isn’t, but for me, realizing that at least some of my SI was part of re-living the trauma of a near death experience was helpful to categorize those awful thoughts and images and be able to distance myself from them with time.