Childhood If You Were Big/strong/powerful Enough To Hit Your Abuser Back, Would You Have?

[Lionheart]

I am powerful enough to do so now and that is all I can focus on...I wasn't able to in the past for many different reasons but I do not blame myself anymore.

 

[Klo]

Yes, and I did. However, I do not think this is common. If you are psychologically programmed from birth to be scared of your parent(s), that fear will generally stay with you until it's resolved in the therapeutic process, which generally doesn't happen around age 13. I think the reasons I eventually attacked my father (the physical abuser) were a combination of me being a major Type A personality at an inherent level, and then also because I felt personally responsible for protecting my little brother. It had its downsides, though, as well. The first time I got into a nasty fight with a lover, I hit him. It really startled me and was what drove me back to therapy at the time. Sometimes a normal, healthy temperament is mistaken for cowardice by victims of abuse. If your natural inclination was not to hit someone back, that says absolutely nothing negative about you, and IMO likely means you are much less likely to become a physical abuser, yourself.

 

[PointlessExistence]

I stood up to my father twice when I was 18, and he cowered in fear. It didn't feel as good as it should've though. When they rape your mind for years, you don't even get to feel good about fighting back.

 

[Freedomfighter]

Mafia science

If I knew then what I know now I would have left the home and tried foster care cuz any...

We all strive for that and many of us are unprepared of how willing predators are to get to their victims. After not allowing them into my life I have now been stalked for over 6 years and counting......

 

[Freedomfighter]

I stood up to my father twice when I was 18, and he cowered in fear. It didn't feel as good...

Yeah, I cowered in fear a long time ago when a predator attempted to shock me, despite the fact that I was very ill with PTSD then.

I am disgusted by such behavior that I do not even want to look at or think about the predator. But I do want to warn others of such predators. At least that gives me the chance to help others. And you are right: it is a rape of the mind, and it is amazing how someone can actually make the victim believe that they are in a situation that they are not in. A predator will do anything to get to his victim, anything.

When you are a victim that attempts to get help from someone who used to be employed with police forces and then it comes to light that such an individual is actually a dangerous predator, then it really is dicey.

 

[rosey]

even from the age of 6 and being tiny for my age I hit back, every time (and there were hundreds) i fought my abuser he alway won in the end. I could not tell you why I just recall always trying to fight him off. (my parents saw me fighting him head down a staircase but laughed and how they claim never to have heard ????) anyway fighting back leaves you with as many questions as if you didnt....... would it have been better not to have fought? was it the fight that he liked? did I make it worst for fighting?

same with my dad who was violent I didnt fight him back

And my brother who was violent and abused me who I fought back.

as i said just hit or no hit it is all just a different set of questions.

 

[EveHarrington]

Didn't read replies.

Maybe you're hitting other people as a way of conquering your trauma. You never stood up to your mom so now you're standing up for everyone else when they are done wrong.

 

[Sadtriedandtrue]

The abuser was my mother. I was taller and stronger than her by the age of 13, but the abuse cont...

No because I would get emotionally paralyzed as I do now unfortunately with every bump in the road. I was so terrified of my step mom growing up beyond words....Daily when the abuse happened her eyes were the most frightful thing I ever saw. I would hyperventilate, have seizures and when thrown down stairs spit up blood and then couldn't think I couldn't even scream outI was stuck and even if I wasn't small it wouldn't have mattered because my mind could never comprehend the evil of what was happening to me.

 

[Dogolover]

When I was getting bigger my father went for my mother I had been his punching bag. When I was maybe 8 I wanted to die I did not want to be hurt or told I was useless anymore I stopped at the last moment because I did not want him to hurt my mom or Little sisters. So I endured many more years of pain. The night he went for my mom I Stepped in between he punched me several times and grabbed something to hit me with I grabbed the baseball bat. My mom screamed don't hurt him she showed me at that moment she loved him more than me. It broke my heart. I would not of hurt him I did not want to be like him. He left soon after that he always had a girlfriend and I comforted my mom because her heart was broken. I go back often to the abuse my life has not been great a failed marriage estrangement from my children my family disowning me. Lost a few jobs and not really having a lot of friends. Maybe he was right and I am only good for a tax deduction. I feel guilty all the time, I hate myself. I wish I had jumped when I was a kid then I would not have had to feel the pain or been a disappointment to anyone.

 

[lostandtonguetied]

Too terrified, yet my sister did many times and scared the hell out of my abusive father.

good for her!

 

[lostandtonguetied]

When I was getting bigger my father went for my mother I had been his punching bag. When I was maybe...

He was wrong. He was so wrong. You are incredibly strong and incredibly brave. You are useful, helpful, and amazing. These kinds of experiences change you and have so much power over your life. I'm sure there is a part of you like there is a part of me that survives solely to proved those sons of bitches wrong.

 

[lostandtonguetied]

With my dad? Not a chance.

He was my dad. What happens after I strike back? Do I get kicked...

That speaks to me on so many levels. I thought everything my father did was normal and just a fact of life that no one really brought up because of how normal it was. I thought he just treated me special because I was the only girl and that's how dads treat little girls. He used to be my greatest role model and now it makes me sick to think that he was. stay strong