If You Were Defending Yourself And/or Your Child...

[franciemarnie]

fly away home - in trauma, your reptilian/limbic brain trumps the rational thought of the neocortex brain. You had as much conscious choice with your perpetrator as you would say...deciding you're not going to let your heart beat for an hour. You cannot transcend this with supposed character. That's why PTSD can be so demoralizing. People don't realize a different part of the brain literally takes over in trauma. It's easy to say once you are out of the Freeze and safely in non-trauma rational brain mode what you should have done.

There are books about this like Waking the Tiger by Levine. Please don't think it reflects your character. It reflects human biology.

The person who attacked the attacker - her trauma activated brains figured she had a chance. Yours knew you didn't.

 

[Nicolette]

There should be a warning for triggers on this!

Unfortunately we end up back with the same scenario of what triggers one person does not affect another. If you come across something you don't like, leave the thread and avoid it; it's just like life where you cannot control every discussion with fluffy clouds to protect yourself from the past. The only way to heal the past is to work through it and triggers are a sign of what area needs to be worked upon when you are ready and capable.

Take care :)

 

[fly away home]

Sorry everyone for the confusion I seem to have caused. I was not triggered. Perhaps I'm just a little defensive. I felt the need to put it out there that we have no idea how we will respond until we are in the situation. Being raped wasn't what caused my PTSD. I agree that trigger warnings would end up on virtually every second post if it were compulsory to label.

 

[Hashi]

@[DLMURL="https://www.myptsd.com/c/members/sandra063.22461/"]sandra063[/DLMURL], I agree with what's already been said. Your question as you've put it here seems over-simplified.

There can be a tendency in people who froze to blame themselves, which is completely unfounded because it's a survival response beyond our control. It's also possible to fight back unsuccessfully and blame ourselves for that too.

Like @therapybankrupt says, I don't think you intended to provoke any negative feelings or responses. Unfortunately, I think your question inevitably will. It's a really difficult subject. I'm not clear what you're getting at, to me it's an odd question anyway, but I think it needs a lot of thought and sensitivity if you have a question relating to this.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I think most of us would have done what we needed to do to get away.

I used to be terrified at night as an adult with a small child. I hardly got any sleep because I was so afraid of someone breaking in. Then it was suggested to me that if someone broke in, I should do my best to kill them, thus protecting my child. i was able yo get sleep after visualizing that happening many times.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think we all know what we would WANT to do, but this is one of those things where you don't know until you're actually in the moment.

And if you're on the outside looking in, then you may feel the need to question. "Well why didn't you fight back?!? Why did you just take it?!?" All of which go back to blaming the victim!

When I was molested I didn't even know I was being molested. Sex wasn't even on my radar yet as I was so young. I didn't fight, I didn't even tell anyone for 25 years. People don't understand that.

It's not as simple as "what would you do?"'

 

[nursenurse]

That's why this is an odd question, because it seems to hang on one specific method of defending oneself. It specifically says " ...you managed to grab hold of his testicles, what would you have done?" And then asks how you thought it might affect the attacker. I am not sure what the poster is looking for.

Well, if I had the wherewithal to have grabbed him, he sure wouldn't be wearing them right now, and he would be singing alto.

 

[therapybankrupt]

Unfortunately we end up back with the same scenario of what triggers one person does not affect another. If you come across something you don't like, leave the thread and avoid it; it's just like life where you cannot control every discussion with fluffy clouds to protect yourself from the past.

Thanks for the info and I do understand Solara already brought me up to date.

I agree that trigger warnings would end up on virtually every second post if it were compulsory to label.

Sorry I was just empathizing with your personal attack on self and made the assumption, I take full responsibility for the trigger comment. I agree with not putting up the warning now as nicolette explains but some time back I had seen them on posts and did not get the memo.

I do want to say I am also begging off.

 

[quic]

I have taught martial arts and self-defense for over 20 years. It is possible to override the primitive systems in the brain through preparation and training. Without mental and physical training there is no way to know what we would do in the event of an attack. Sometimes freezing is the best way to survive. Sometimes the way to survive is to attack. Never forget we are animals and when forced into a corner we will do what we need to do in order to survive.