I'm Feeling So Very Sad Right Now

[jewel]

The cause of my last OD was a professor who didn't believe I had a disability or PTSD. I ended up breaking down in front of her humiliating myself. What a complete loss of control, body shaking, tears streaming. I reported her for harassment and now I feel like she is really pushing my buttons. I had class today but even before class she sent me emails that I perceived as antagonistic. I came home at 4pm and sat down, have not eaten didn't even have energy to take my coat off until midnight. I am zapped of all energy and I don't want her to make me feel this way. I don't know what to do right now. I sad. I am lonely. I am hungry. I am tired. I am frustrated. I need advice.

 

[ronin47]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm learning the hard way myself that professors are human to and they also make mistakes and do bad things. I don't know your exact circumstances, but I would recommend you drop the class. She has made the decision to be insensitive and callous and there's no reason for you to subject yourself to that. You wouldn't be letting her "get to you," you'd just be making the decision not to spend your time around her. That kind of behavior is not worth your time anyway.

Another thing you could do is go to the chair of the department and discuss your problem with them, preferably face to face. You don't need to chew the professor out in front of him/her, just say that you're in a class and you feel like you and the professor are really not getting along. Is there an office for students with disabilities on your campus? Are you in contact with them? I had an occasion once where professors were inadvertently giving me a hard time about one of my accomodations and I went to the OFSWD director on the verge of having a meltdown myself because the situation was stressing me out so much. He very kindly offered to communicate with the professors in question himself and explain why this specific accomodation would be helpful for me in this instance.

See there, now you have some potential solutions to your conundrum. Take a deep breath and say to yourself, "I have a way to fix this. It will all get better tommorrow," and then order pizza or something fun like that ;).

Good luck! Let me know how it all turns out.

 

[jewel]

That was really kind of you to put thought into that. I appreciate your time. I don't kmow how to wrap my head around giving in and giving up. It feels like she would win.
I did file harassment against her with the department of EEOC on campus as per the recommendations of disability services office. An investigation is being done and witnesses are being called. I just feel her treatment of me is retaliatory at this point. I have been shaky all day. :(

 

[AngelaMarie]

I just want to say "stay strong". A bully is a bully. It doesn't matter if you are a child and getting bullied on a playground, or older and being bullied by someone in control. There is no excuse for someone, especially with a high education, going against someone they feel they can intimidate. I wish you luck in your situation.

 

[The Albatross]

I'm glad you were able to report her Jewel. I dropped out of college after my rape... my psych teacher was not receptive to my absences after my rape at 25... I tried to tell him that my rape crisis counseling was during his class time. He wouldn't let me drop the class after the drop/add period and basically just told me to "buck up" and I stopped attending college and never went back. I found out later, he had a habit of illicit affairs with his students.

 

[jewel]

Albatross, that's is awful! I am so sad that you had to experience that. No one should. However, I am glad you got th e help you needed. I hope in time you can move forward to the best of your ability and the negative space within you be ones smaller and smaller over time.

I am sending you healing hugs!!!!!

(((((((((albatross))))))))))

 

[The Albatross]

Thanks Jewel... but I didn't... I only stayed in rape crisis counseling for 6 weeks and walked out of that too. I realized I was sitting in a room of women who were reliving their traumas every week... and none but me had an incident that was less that two years prior. The therapist followed me out and asked me what the problem was... I told her I had absolutely no interest or time sitting in therapy reliving my trauma like the women in the group, so I thought I'd bail and go my own way unless she had express service.

She did. And she told me what to do, and I did it and it got better, some but maybe not as good as if I would have stayed in therapy. I gave that damn psyche professor more cred than my crisis/trauma therapist. Doh.