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Im I a bad friend for speaking up for her 3 year old?

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So let me get this straight.

You are willing to blow up a friendship over…..

A friend putting her 3 year old child in “time out” for 10 minutes when he misbehaves.

All because, the 3 year old has “needs” that aren’t being met?

I’m sorry but what needs aren’t being met? It’s ok to put a child in time out for 10 minutes. I fail to see how needs aren’t being met here.

Plus, 10 minutes of time out is 100% appropriate for a 3 year old. How else is she possibly going to punish him?
 
Pretty much any time you question someone’s parenting?

You run the very real risk of losing them as a friend. Full stop.

Are you overreacting? Probably. Is she? Nope.


Bullshit.

Tell me how WONDERFUL it would be to be told to f*ck off and die, I hope you die screaming, as you’re raped to death and set on fire, you evil f*cking piece of shit.

That? Is maaaaaaybe 10% of the venom, and hate, and awfulness of what any parent hears when their parenting is questioned. Much less when they’re made out to be a bad parent.

Other Parents? Know that. So they don’t come after other parents the way that nonparents think would be soooo “wonderful”. Unless? Yeah. Raped to death and set on fire, sounds reasonable. Totally commensurate.

To be fair? I know people like that. Who deserve to die. Badly.

Does she? Would you walk into her home and murder her, for the sake of her kids?

If not?

You f*cked up. In a maaaaaajor way. If you want to ever have her, or her kids, in your life… unless she’s f*cking broken, abused, and feels like she’s worth shit? You are out of her life, forever. Because you? Just crossed the f*cking Rubicon.

The only way you could have done worse? Would be to threaten her children.

You DID make her out to be a bad mother.

That is a seeeerious fawking line.

Yep. That makes you a bad friend. A toxic person who should be eliminated from her life, forever.

If you get a second chance? Be very aware of it.
If this behaviour is condoned on this forum, then I would like to be banned. Thank-you.
 
If this behaviour is condoned on this forum, then I would like to be banned. Thank-you.
Usually it’s not like this. It’s best to ignore certain people. It can be frustrating when Moderator Plain Jain states that rest of has to ignore and not respond when the other person gets to continue. But honestly this post is about helping and giving advice to the original poster. So if you have any advice for them I’m sure they’ll appreciate it. Sorry that you’re new and this is the introduction.
 
Mod Note:
@Bamma - thread banned, per earlier moderator warning.

Other members: if you think someone has broken a forum rule, please (please!) bring it to our attention via Contact Us so that we can take appropriate action. Getting irritated in a thread is not a helpful way to tackle the issue.

Use the Ignore function if you just dislike a particular post, thread, or poster.

Now back to the topic!
 
Mod Note:
@Bamma - thread banned, per earlier moderator warning.

Other members: if you think someone has broken a forum rule, please (please!) bring it to our attention via Contact Us so that we can take appropriate action. Getting irritated in a thread is not a helpful way to tackle the issue.

Use the Ignore function if you just dislike a particular post, thread, or poster.

Now back to the topic!
Is okay to ask you a question or will that result in a ban as well?
 
I don’t think you’re a bad friend for expressing concern. I prefer direct communication like that myself. Complaining about your child to other adults in front them is not okay. I’d consider it emotional abuse even. It’s degrading and embarrassing for the child. It makes them feel unstable in their relationship with the parent who does it. It’s no wonder this kid is pushing. He’s begging to be seen. It needs to be made clear that pushing isn’t okay, but time outs as punishment for a kid who is pretty clearly feeling insecure in his attachments is only going to harm him. I have kids and I would have appreciated your input if delivered gently.
 
Usually it’s not like this. It’s best to ignore certain people. It can be frustrating when Moderator Plain Jain states that rest of has to ignore and not respond when the other person gets to continue. But honestly this post is about helping and giving advice to the original poster. So if you have any advice for them I’m sure they’ll appreciate it. Sorry that you’re new and this is the introduction.
I did feel ganged up on and threatened but I chose not to contact as it does not feel safe. If I get banned then so be it. So many I love from afar.

I was totally unaware of the contact tag.
 
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Mod Note:

Everyone - take a breath and step back. Your personal issues with individual posts or posters is not a discussion point in this thread.

It is disrespectful to the OP and turns the forum into the same dysregulated emotional dumping ground that so many other forums have succumbed to.

If you have nothing to contribute to the OP’s topic, do not contribute here. I cannot be any clearer.

If you have issues that have arisen that you personally want to work through, take it to your trauma diary, and work it out there. Better still, take a break. Come back when you’ve cooled off.
I was totally unaware of the contact tag.
This was pointed out to you yesterday by @PlainJane here:
Any further derailment will be thread banned. Any questions or concerns should be directed at the Contact forum.
So this…:
I did feel ganged up on and threatened but I chose not to contact as it does not feel safe. If I get banned then so be it. So many I love from afar.
Was exactly what you were asked not to do. Thread-banned.
 
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