I'm Not In Danger - The Worst That Can Happen Is Distress

[Sandstone]

I've been anxious to the point of panic for several days because I have an appointment tomorrow that Im very afraid of.

On Sunday we went out to look at a garden, but I hadn't realised we'd have to drive past the village where my mother required me to share a bed with my abuser. I've been trying once again to work out what was going on in her head.

Yesterday my GP phoned to say that the routine blood tests my psychiatrist requested have shown up quite abnormal kidney function and somewhat abnormal thyroid.

Today I was working on distracting myself, and had done some book-keeping and then done Wii- fit to try to burn off some adrenalin. Then I looked up and saw my primary abuser and his wife, who live 150 miles away walking up the drive. Not a hallucination, they will be visiting my mother who lives in an annexe in the back garden. Normally I know when they are coming, but Ive been hiding a lot so she hasn't seen me to let me know.

I ran round locking all the doors and closing curtains, and then tried to stop pacing, got my panda and cried, explained again to myself that the chest pains aren't real, and now I'll probably hide in the wardrobe.

 

[Justmehere]

:hug: Can you all your GP or psychiatrist and tell them how anxious you are feeling? Abnormal thyroid function can cause anxiety and/or make it worse when anxiety is triggered.

 

[Sandstone]

When I spoke to my GP yesterday the first thing I said was how anxious I am. She said that complicated things as she might have prescribed a drug for the thyroid but that in itself could increase anxiety.

 

[Justmehere]

I'm glad you talked to her - and I would suggest calling the psychiatrist now and getting in to see an endocrinologist. There is a huge link between anxiety and low or high thyroid function and when properly treated and managed, it can help a lot. My aunt had the problem of abnormal hypothyriodism and went from suicidally anxious to pretty ok after getting proper dosing of thyroid medication. (http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/22/h...troubles-may-begin-with-the-thyroid.html?_r=0)

Even without thyroid issues, the amount of anxiety you are having could warrant a phone call to your psychiatrist just so they know how you are feeling.

In the meantime, something that helps me is to tell myself what is happening in the present is reminding me of the past but it doesn't mean the past will happen again. I can keep myself safe now.

I would be so triggered seeing my abuser - my heart goes out to you.

 

[The Albatross]

Very sorry Stenni to read about the unexpected visit and also the health issues. Understandable that it would set you off.

 

[Sandstone]

As my post title says "I'm not in danger, just distress". But I do so want to be in a small dark enclosed place, inside a locked room in a locked up house. With my panda, who is wholly reliable.

The dog wants to go out and I have to work out if it's reasonable to expect him to cross his paws for another 3 hours till my husband gets home. He's an elderly hound and usually sleeps all day, so if he's asking he probably needs to go. But he's also sensitive to my mood and may just want to get away from my distress. If I let him out I have to be sure I can go back again and let him back in.

 

[Sally sue]

Wow, I'm so sorry so many issues are coming up at once :(.

I would definitely be calling my T!

With health issues I try and remind myself that I am the same person I was yesterday, and that I am still worthy of care and love. I also find it's helpful to do something that takes my mind away, paint by number, coloring, crossword book, crocheting...I hope you find something to help you soothe! I'm glad you have panda :) I have an "ugly doll" and a goat ha

 

[Laura 2]

Sorry to say this, but it sounds like your mother seriously needs psychiatric help. What is she thinking of, inviting the abuser of her daughter to visit her?

Were the thyroid and kidney results news to you? I mean, you haven't had abnormal results before? What's the kidney one about, did the doc say? Any idea about treatment yet?

What a worry though.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I agree with what Alby said. Please take very good care of you right now. You have so much to deal with right now and if I was you I would take baby steps and not overstress yourself.

Health problems can be very distressing to become aware of.

Call those you need to get the correct information and help you need right now.

I would not be able to see my abusers either and would probably do the same things you are. I am so sad that you have to go through these things. Get some rest .

 

[Sandstone]

Were the thyroid and kidney results news to you? I mean, you haven't had abnormal results before? What's the kidney one about, did the doc say? Any idea about treatment yet?

Yes, they were a surprise - I'd wondered why the psych was wanting to do them. The CPN said "Oh it's because he's Polish and likes things to be done thoroughly." I'm not really clear if they are linked or co-incidental.
I have to have a retest, with additional tests for auto-immune markers in a couple of weeks, then they will either start an as yet unspecified treatment or refer to a specialist. I've been investigated in the past for Lupus, an auto immune condition, and though all tests were negative, my then GP was still convinced I had it, specially after I had a "funny turn" that might have been a mini-stroke. Certainly in the last few weeks I've once again had a lot of problems with swollen hands and joint pains, but I put it down to hot weather, stress and somatic pain.

Wow, I'm so sorry so many issues are coming up at once .

I would definitely be calling my T!

It doesn't seem bad enough to justify asking for outside help. But I do appreciate your sympathy.

Pandas rock