Hello Gms -
Glad the Buddhism idea resonates with you - it is cool to see that others use it as well,
Although Eckhart Tolle is not completely Buddhist - what he does teach about learning to be in the now and other things can be really useful in situations such as ours. And although she does not resonate a lot with me a lot of people like the books of Pema Chodron.
And you can't go wrong with Thich Nhat Hanh for sure - As a matter of fact, I used an idea of his in a podcast I have written and am about to upload on how to deal with negative emotions using meditation. What he said in a video teaching I saw of his was to lovingly take hold of your negative emotion as if it were a child you are comforting and comfort your fear -
Buddha taught to invite your Mara to tea - Mara are our negative emotions - when you are in meditation if you can, invite your fear/anxiety to sit with you - feel what it feels like in your body - feel what it feels like when you notice it getting worse - feel what it feels like when it relaxes a bit.
So if anxiety is a baseline - get it touch with what it feels like - hold it like a mother holding her child - just be with it - once you can identify it, then you can work on letting it go - mentally you can start putting it down and picking it up - and of course some times it will jump back up into your arms like a puppy - then you simply hug it and gently put it down again.
Then for me once I had a bit of control over it - I realized that fear or anxiety is only ever about something that might happen in the future or something that happened in the past - If you are able to be truly present in the now, there is no fear - because you are present and clear headed and we don't have to carry the baggage of something that might happen - that is where mindfulness or as I call it stabilizing meditation where we use our breath to keep is present in the now is so helpful.
But for where to start with having Buddhism help you - reading the books of the authors mentioned above and also starting a real meditation practice is invaluable. Meditation especially stabilizing meditation will help you calm your body so it is not so intense all the time - it will also help you slow down your mind so you can recognize when a disturbing thought begins to arise in your mind so you can let it go before it becomes full blown fear or anxiety.
Also if you feel Buddhism might help you is to see if there is a Buddhist center around where you live and go to some classes -
Hope this helps - Namaste - Laurie
