Birdhouseinmysoul
New Here
My heart physically hurts, just needed to reach out to people that understands....
Partner is cptsd sufferer. Always hidden it, best kept secret in the world.
8 months into relationship he told me, and now is getting treatment.
Ive tried to educate myself and support in any way I can, but today I'm struggling massively. I'm here as it's comforting to know I'm not alone
I hadn't physically seen him for 4 weeks as was giving him space that the therapist said to do.. But finally saw him a week ago. He held me lso tight and for so long when he opened the door. Over the 4 hours I was with him.. He was tactile and held my hand lots and told me he was sorry and he will get better. He said that I'm more than just a gf to him..real genuine love and words from him.
I reassured him that it will be OK and that I love him and he just has to continue making himself better.I can wait.. I left there feeling loved and it woukd just be a long hard process for him and us.
Since then we've spoken every day he says he really misses me.. but then we had a very long convo 2 days ago when he said he doesn't know where he sees us going anymore. Whether we should split and be friends or what as this will take a long time. ... I said it's a lifetime of healing and that it's no pressure. I'm in it for the long run no matter how bad it gets.(he has abuse /abandonment issues) I know how he feels about us, and I still love him the way I did before this rared its head.
He said hes been told before he's been loved and that in the end didn't matter, they still hurt him
He said I've been very patient..but he need to work out what he wants for the next 25 years... (he told me before it was me him abroad and a dog) but now he's not sure about anything.
We spoke the next day as usual but yesterday we didn't. He's pulling further away so it seems...
Today I just feel so so sad, physically my heart hurts. I know I can't do anything for him other than what I'm doing.. ,I miss him and us so much. .
I feel horrible and selfish for just thinking I wish I could turn back time and not ask him what was wrong just like everybody else did.. so we could still have the lovely relationship that we had before he started therapy, and that makes me hate myself for feeling that. He deserves the world. Literally.
I just feel very sad and emotional today like I said.. . I am tryin to keep busy and look after myself but I'm really hurting from the last couple of days.. .and as this site before gave me such good advice (it's like a comfort blanket) I just feel I needed to reach out as just vocalising it feels a little better..
Partner is cptsd sufferer. Always hidden it, best kept secret in the world.
8 months into relationship he told me, and now is getting treatment.
Ive tried to educate myself and support in any way I can, but today I'm struggling massively. I'm here as it's comforting to know I'm not alone
I hadn't physically seen him for 4 weeks as was giving him space that the therapist said to do.. But finally saw him a week ago. He held me lso tight and for so long when he opened the door. Over the 4 hours I was with him.. He was tactile and held my hand lots and told me he was sorry and he will get better. He said that I'm more than just a gf to him..real genuine love and words from him.
I reassured him that it will be OK and that I love him and he just has to continue making himself better.I can wait.. I left there feeling loved and it woukd just be a long hard process for him and us.
Since then we've spoken every day he says he really misses me.. but then we had a very long convo 2 days ago when he said he doesn't know where he sees us going anymore. Whether we should split and be friends or what as this will take a long time. ... I said it's a lifetime of healing and that it's no pressure. I'm in it for the long run no matter how bad it gets.(he has abuse /abandonment issues) I know how he feels about us, and I still love him the way I did before this rared its head.
He said hes been told before he's been loved and that in the end didn't matter, they still hurt him
He said I've been very patient..but he need to work out what he wants for the next 25 years... (he told me before it was me him abroad and a dog) but now he's not sure about anything.
We spoke the next day as usual but yesterday we didn't. He's pulling further away so it seems...
Today I just feel so so sad, physically my heart hurts. I know I can't do anything for him other than what I'm doing.. ,I miss him and us so much. .
I feel horrible and selfish for just thinking I wish I could turn back time and not ask him what was wrong just like everybody else did.. so we could still have the lovely relationship that we had before he started therapy, and that makes me hate myself for feeling that. He deserves the world. Literally.
I just feel very sad and emotional today like I said.. . I am tryin to keep busy and look after myself but I'm really hurting from the last couple of days.. .and as this site before gave me such good advice (it's like a comfort blanket) I just feel I needed to reach out as just vocalising it feels a little better..