Sufferer In Search Of The Truth

[Edz]

I was hopeless to it until they said gender treatment still really hard and do relapse but motivation to stay away now.

I do a variety of stuff can be security, steward, bar staff, team leader, back of bar, cooking. Jack of all trades master of F all ;) this time I am the guy in the back room sorting out barrels.

Well my city is a Capital, so should hope it is interesting, that amd the cool fact Dr Who and Torchwood were both set here regularly hence why I moved here. I was originally from the birth place of Cadburys and Thomas the Tank Engine and less known Brum

 

[KP the nut]

less known Brum

I remember Brum :cool:

 

[HighwayToHell]

Thomas the tank engine now that's impressive.

How are you today Ez? Is it true that it is always raining in England?
You said you would be sorting barrels? Of what? Someone has to do it and they re lucky to have your help.

How is our head space today? I suppose you are still waiting on a Drs appointment.
Hope your day goes / is going / has gone OK.

^&*^ing time difference drives me nuts.

 

[KP the nut]

Is it true that it is always raining in England?

It only rains between the showers :confused:

^&*^ing time difference drives me nuts.

I can never get my head around the differences. I struggle with which way the clocks turn at summer and winter light saving thingies.

 

[Edz]

I live in Wales at the moment and it doesn't rain as much as completely hammer it down constantly we have a break for the snow and hail lol.

Time differences umm I know Auckland NZ is 11 hrs ahead at the moment, and Queensland Aus 9 hours ahead of GMT. I only know that cause it pinned to my notice board to get in contact with family.

As for the barrels umm I will be Foster or Carling or Budweiser, Strongbow, SA Brains and Guinness most likely depends on who is sponsoring the stadium atm.

My headspace umm great not 58 hours no sleep and wide awake with 8 hours heavy lifting later this is going to be fun. Considering at the moment I can't leave my room without a panic attack not sure I am going. Yeah got to wait another 2 days for script meds now frustrated is a understatement!

KP why worry about which way they go Smart phones ftw they do it for you one less thing to worry about.

 

[HighwayToHell]

Oh beer barrels. We only have wine barrels and beer kegs.

Edz I wish I could come out with something terribly smart and practical which would help but can only cross my fingers for you that you will be OK until you get to treatment. I am not in much of a state to help anyone right now, but am glad we are keeping in touch and I hope it helps you get through the day in some small way at least.

Thinking about you and LOL at your description of the weather.
Try to get some sleep. Most of us with PTSD are already f...ed in the head. We can well do without even more sleepless nights than usual.

 

[KP the nut]

KP why worry about which way they go Smart phones

I am a dinosaur who has just managed texting and my old iPod (Version 2, I think). I need to upgrade my phone and need to think of a smartphone. I'd also like a iPad sized type thingy. Of course, I wouldn't have a clue what to do with either.

 

[Edz]

Kegs, Barrels same difference, they contain alcohol and are heavy :P as long as you know what is in each it doesn't matter what they are called. Though today I have had enough of the sight of them and cans if I see another can or bottle at the moment I am going to go nuts. Working it out we were having a bit of a competition at back of bar but I managed to switch 70 kegs/barrels, empty over 750 cans and decant 600 bottles within the 4 hours period I was working on back of bar. Then I had to move all the barrels and make sure each can and bottle went in the correct recycling, end of season and cause I have social anxiety I get the none customer facing jobs which is all well but I am glad it is over now.

Ah I might sleep tonight after all that work physically exhausted as well as mentally and emotionally now so I might collapse soon into the joys of uneasy sleep and nightmares.

KP I would say they are easy to use, well they are if you only want to start simple on them, pretty self explanatory. But I would say that considering I build and take apart these things for fun and can program them to do what I want, but I have mates who are computer illerate and pick up a tablet and can use it after a few days well enough to do what they need to. It is just taking the leap I think the only down side to Smart Phones is the battery life is rubbish compared to the old bricks.

 

[KP the nut]

well enough to do what they need to.

That is part of my problem, I don't know what I would do on one as I don't know what they do - a bit of a Catch 22 :confused:
I know I'd like to download movies and catch up TV to my TV.

 

[Edz]

The down side to smart phones and tablets are the addicting game apps though I wrecked my temple runs great stats by my disassociative tendencies dang. Well there are plenty of websites you can get movies on legally but normally cost either per film or per month depends on how many you watch. The other way I can't advocate as it is slightly illegal... And catch up TV on them is pretty easy just install stuff like iPlayer and 4OD apps to your tablet or laptop or whatever and stream the programs or download them :)

I use my tablet for a lot of stuff being on here, sometimes, checking emails, it has my calander, pill reminders, diary, memos, youtube, all the catch up tv it has external storage with a load of films and music on games I just use it if I need to go out in public or to appts while I am waiting to keep me in one place in public which is near impossible normally :P

 

[HighwayToHell]

Hello Edz. Have you been able to make any progress with Drs appointments \ treatment yet?

How are you going today?

 

[Edz]

Well you know the 'emergency' doctors appointment is for the 13th of May, so good job it isn't like a real emergency, well it is, but I am used to dealing with it. Treatment is even longer away. It is great, not seriously, messing with my head just to stick me back on a waiting list - it is stupid.

Today I am rubbish. I came out to my mom again and told her I was raped. I got a call today, she said she got the letter, and the only comment she made was my writing was too small and messy. Considering I have dyslexia and struggle with writing, let alone what I sent to her, I am sort of in a bad way now. Really bad way. Good to know my family care, right?

I left because of the disappointment and the hurt - now the psych team got me back involved time to feel it all again yay(!)