Inside or Outside?

[Cindy]

I'm curious.

Reflecting on my journal and my choices I have realized on week ends when I am home and safe I don't leave the house unless absolutely necessary. If I do leave, it is something really great or a "duty" like my mother. I feel safest inside.

However, I love the outdoors. The air, sky, and nature sounds. When I have the worst flashbacks or nightmares I sometimes find myself outside unsure of how I got there or go outside desperately seeking air and seeing that limitless sky - as soon as possible to ground, focus and settle down.

It seems wierd to me to have both ends be so comforting. I use to be outside more than I was in and very active. Now I have many sedentary hobbies and interests. It's like I've built this caccoon around me.

 

[nic]

I'm like this, too. I like nothing more than to sit at a beach during the off-season, enjoying the breeze, watching the clouds, and feeling the sand between my fingers. Yet getting there is another story. I often have to force myself to do anything more than the simple trip to the store, esp, during the weekend. It sucks that I have to take Ativan in order to do somthing that I love to do.

 

[Cindy]

aaahhhhhh the beach ...

:smile: I love the beach and your description of the sand through your fingers... oooh

I'm not at the point of taking meds to get out the door - sometimes to go to work though.:wink:

It's wierd having both ends and no inbetween.

 

[sunnydaze]

I like the inside more when the weather is cold, rainy or snowing. I hope to get out more walking the dog soon. Last year, I pushed myself to go in the backyard with the grandson as he loves the outdoors. I am afraid to go to the malls, parks ect with and without him. I worry of the time it takes to buckle him up in the car that someone will use this to their advantage of attacking or robbing me. Years ago the mall up the street from me a woman was killed. She had her children with her and went to get the car to pick them up by the door never to return. She was found a few days later abused and dead. I do not like being alone wandering around in case I am confronted by a weirdo.
I have gone to the mall in the past but couldn't find my car and wound up in a area unfamiluar on how I got there or where I was. I also have a phobia of getting bit by a mosquito and getting sick or diseased.
sunnydaze

 

[pandora]

I am planning to walk again....for some reason i love being outside too..I have to have pepper spray but I am often with someone because i don't seem to isolate so much in the summer. There are more activities and the only sport my son likes is swimming and I can do that.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I am not an outdoor person, never have been. I used to love to sunbath but being old and fat, you will not see me in a bathing suit...LOL!!!! I tend to like being alone inside, and I understand not wanting to go out unless I absolutely have too.....

 

[Nicolette]

From what I have read on this forum over time I tend to believe the 'nomadic' or indoor type lifestyles people on here live are largely due to PTSD. This then leads me to believe the choice then comes down to coping mechanisms whether sub-conscious or conscious rather than a premeditated lifestyle choice. Take PTSD away and what lifestyle would you then choose to lead?

 

[Cindy]

What lifestyle would I choose w/o PTSD

Outside and physically active. But first I would have to lose Mega pounds and get my muscles back. Recently, I have come to a decision to try and get my physical body under control and to stop ignoring what I eat and start to walk each day atleast once to get out, try to tune in to my surroundings and listen to the world outside again. Look for the little things, the sound of the wind, a bird singing, smell the fresh rain .....

 

[linasmom]

If I didn't have PTSD, I would be outside all of the time. I love the beach, the mountains, even my backyard! But lately, I can barely step out onto the back porch. I just want to be inside with my pajamas on.

 

[morgan]

If I didn't have PTSD I'd be outside more too. I love to explore nature. Especially around water, like creeks and falls and the ocean, lakes, etc... I also love animals (dogs) and they need to run around and smell things. I love to watch them. I don't hardly leave the house anymore either.

 

[pandora]

Well...I was starting to write about my back...that is causing more...I really think I would be handing it better without the back injury...in fact was two return two years ado and them bam....this back.


I am relearning to train my thoughts and living with the emotional spects,,,,I deal with fifromylgia and chronic pain, with IBS, vomiting, hyerpivigelence too....more of this is controlled with deap breathing and meditation. I would have my body back..it would help with my patience with my son with aspergers, I would say I am managing it but if I think i could some how... nurse and.eel again...it would help my self esteem.....I would be totally independant....I wouldn't doubt every thought that passed through my head, I wouldn't fear everyone especially men and not want to leave home either...glad to know I am no the only one.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I personally don't know who or what I would be or do if I didn't have PTSD. I have had it most of my life, so I don't know anything else.

What I would like......Would to have been a better person when I was younger, not as crazy and off kilter. I would have been a better mother without PTSD. I would have been kinder to myself and body.

I may have liked the outdoors more...Who knows????