Internet Dating For Ptsd Dummies

[missd84]

Gloria, thank you for advice. I never really thought about being too open too fast could be setting me up for another bad situation. Men seem to be wired to be the hero, the problem-solver.

 

[Nicolette]

Enlighten me please. I don't get it.

I Googled it and came up with:

Universally, it is a signal between a guy and a gal, that he wants to have sex with her. :whistling:

 

[doglover]

Thank you, brat17! That hasn't always been easy to do, especially in times where my self-esteem was so low that I wanted (almost) anyone to validate me - or times where my stress is so high I can't access intuition very well. I'm glad I could hear it. When I DO hear it, and listen, it never seems to steer me wrong. :)

 

[Sandra]

I know with me I am very afraid of commitment. And my lack of trust.

 

[Gloria]

Enlighten me please. I don't get it.

I replied but then I saw that Nicolette googled it. Somebody should write a handbook about these things.
Another unspoken clue....If a man has a picture of himself with his shirt off in the profile, he's only looking to have sex. I learned that one recently.

 

[doglover]

Oh boy, I'm like really cynical about male intentions. I assume any guy I go out with just wants to sleep with me. Part of the problem with that, is it's been proven true before.

I have decided to just wait longer than average to go there with a potential partner. Like three months plus. That way if they are just interested in sex they will get bored or impatient and leave before I go there. Easier than waiting until after.

I'm mad at the men who did that to me, because they made it possible for me to have sex without feeling any attachment. I don't get attached with sex because it would hurt too much if it turned out to be all they wanted.

 

[Dee Morris]

I tend to become more attached when the relationship is non sexual. Sex doesn't equal emotional intimacy for me. Which is fine in a casual relationship but didn't work well in my marriage. I still haven't really dated anyone since my husband & I split. I want to but I haven't met anyone that I'm interested in. I did join Zoosk for a month & only came away from it with one lunch date. I'd say the whole experience was a wash.

 

[ms spock]

Then there is the fact that I have gotten psychiatric help and been treated. Well, that means that I'm crazy to some people. This is of course absurd because they might be out of control drinkers, gamblers, drug users, shoppers, rage-aholics, etc. but since they never got treatment, they can say that they are "normal". The only normal is a cycle on my clothes dryer.

That is just so well expressed! I Love It!
ms spock

 

[ms spock]

Part of me wanted to meet him (he probably lives about 2 hours from my school), but he is crazier than I am so I decided not to.

That is a great decision to make. I am smiling here. You are so witty and so honest simultaneously.

 

[ms spock]

I haven't been out with anyone since I broke up with my ex in early Feb. I have the hots for the guy who is before me when I go to see my psychiatrist.

That is really tragic I know.

He is a cutie though. So we have a 2 minute conversation once a week. Probably best to leave it at that.

ms spock

 

[Sandra]

I never dated again after my husband died. And I was only 34 when he died. I have met some people from online but we only met as friends only.

 

[ms spock]

I feel so hurt and so depressed and and sad. It's this thing that I have. My parents didn't love me. But for some reason I think there is something wrong with me that no one can love me except for my friends and my sons and my animals. What is wrong with me? .

That lack of real love and care means we settle for very little just to get a few scerricks of human interaction and a bit of love. Not being loved by our parents leaves us open to all types of exploitation. I don't know how to do the self love thing that much yet but I am hoping to go there to the place of self soothing, self care and self love and perhaps that might make a difference. I am hoping so. (First I have to accept all the loss and grief and be with that.)

ms spock