Interviewing A New Therapist

[trapped]

Due to my stubborn and hard-headed nature, I'm determined to find a new therapist to work with, who can help me excel and succeed... initially, my twisted mind thought that it would be grand fun to go to the same center where my previous therapist (who just kicked me to the curb) works (it's a big house where a bunch of them all share the rent and have offices) and see someone else there... then I realized I'd still probably only get hurt again. I really still like my past therapist, even after it feels like she abandoned me and broke my trust. If I did a 5 hour train ride, I'd be able to see a therapist I initially started seeing in California, who left me because she took a job on the east coast... I got along with her REALLY well, she truly was amazing and I think I would have done so well had I been given the chance to continue working with her. And I have ALMOST seriously considered the 5 hour (each way) train ride worth it. Then my practical brain starts to kick in, and I realize I should start with therapists closer to where I live, since there may be someone who is an even better match.

What questions do you all ask when interviewing therapists? I've sent out a few dozen emails today, figured I'd first see who was affordable and was accepting new clients. I've found some great therapists, but they aren't accepting new clients. Luckily I've already gotten a couple responses that seem promising, and some have even offered to let me come in for a free consultation. I just really don't know what questions I should be asking. I really would LOVE to ask if I could bring Darwin in, or bring my service dog with me (once I get it- which will be pretty soon). I just don't know how to bring those things up (an adult asking to bring a stuffed animal in is probably quite an unusual request). When this past therapist just abandoned me this week, oddly enough my first thought was "but you can't stop working with me- you like Darwin and most other therapists would lock me up if I asked to bring a stuffed animal with me to therapy!" I've been realizing though, that having a therapeutic relationship that has the foundation of "I like you because you're cool and text message me appointment reminders" or "I like you cuz you're okay with me carrying around a stuffed animal that calms me down" isn't a great foundation. I really want to try to avoid getting abandoned or hurt again. I'm just so afraid to trust anyone any more.

 

[Cryptantha]

I'm not sure if this helps or not at all, but I have to look for a new therapist as well. I plan on asking if they are TRAINED to handle trauma. I insist they have their license. I plan on asking what their treatment plan is, how often they make goals and how many times they check against those goals for progress. I want to know how often they'll check me for signs of bad behaviors (regressing) and for my general mental well-being. I want take-home notes, or names of books to read, websites, whatever he/she uses to learn, I want to have too. I realize I may not get it all, but I insist on some.

 

[trapped]

After having the worst panic attack EVER after attempting to call and speak to a potential new T on the phone this morning, I am now equipped with a list of questions to ask... ugh, I am SO much better at talking to them in person or through email... I cannot begin to express how deeply I hate the phone. But, I am feeling more confident with my list of questions. It includes:

1. What issues do you have training and experience in working with? (this question I already asked for the people I emailed)
2. What is your theoretical orientation? (also asked in the emails... and not so important for some people, but I have a really great sense of what orientations work well for me and which do not- it's not a primary thing though, more something to use if I ever need to narrow it down and decide between two or three T's)
3. What is your fee, do you offer any sliding scales or reduced rates? (again already asked in emails)
4. What is your availability to meet during the week or on weekends? Are you able to be reached in an emergency? If there is a need for additional sessions during the week on occassion, would you be available for that? (these questions I feel incredibly stupid for asking... even though I may never communicate with the T via email, or may never need to call them- it is nice to know ahead of time what to expect, if they see emails or letters as appropriate forms of communication to bring up a topic that may be too difficult to initially just bring up out of the blue during a session on your own... I also get a great deal of comfort in knowing I can reach my T in the event there IS an emergency... I always hope to never need that, but just is something nice to know- again, would probably be something just to help me decide between two T's).
5. If I had a nutritionist, went to groups or was in an IOP program, or had any other members on a "treatment team", would you be open to talking with those individuals and collaborating treatment goals and plans with them? (pretty important for me, since there are multiple issues I struggle with, and having a "team" is really a necessary thing for me)
6. (this is just for the T's who stated they use CBT or DBT methods) Do you do exposure therapy, or how do you incorporate behavioral methods into the treatment?
7. Do you work more with historical issues, or with current? (I personally prefer a mix- that is my preference and what works for me. If they deal only with historical, then current issues can get out of control. If they deal only with current- which I have met many T's who did- then I don't feel like I am getting a long-term solution)
8. How do you approach setting treatment goals and objectives? (i.e. do they let the client choose? Or are they more directive?)

There are other questions I want to ask... like "I have a stuffed animal that can be heated up and smells like lavendar, his name is Darwin and he really helps me calm down... can I bring him to the session with me?" or "I noticed on your website that the office you work out of has a sand tray... can we do sand tray work, even if I'm an adult?" or "I'm probably getting a service dog soon, since I function much better when I have one. Since it's a service animal, can I bring it with me to sessions?" and "I've hesitated about getting a service animal because I am afraid that I could end up in a hospital or residential program again. The last T I worked with encouraged me to get one though since I do function much better. She said that if I ended up in such a program, she would care for the animal for me... I know that would be a lot to ask you to do, but in the event I had to go to such a program, would you at least be able to help me in creating a plan on what I would do with the animal while I was in that program?" I just don't know quite how to ask these questions. The direct, straight-forward, and technical questions, I can ask. I've had enough training from my classes in psychotherapy orientations, models, and systems, that I can carry on long theoretical conversations and ask a million technical questions about their training. But asking for something that would REALLY help me... that is the hard part.

 

[gdf]

Wow Trapped, those are good questions. I asked some of those things but didn't think about others you pose like bringing Darwin (something comfortable and grounding). Number 7 is really good too--I think a mix of history and present mindedness is good. In my life I have had a few t's who really picked the wrong career. I feel they were in it to understand themselves and work out their own stuff but I had one T whos was really good and steady for severaal decades off and on. I like to ask where and when they went to school and then check out the school (website). I also check the state licensing board and look for violations and current licensing. Doing what I do for a living I ask how they picked the field of psychology and if they like what they do. One thing I've found with professionals (t's, doctors, etc.) in my life that if they have other career interests like teaching, owning businesses, etc. it can be a red flag because these interests often times indicate they will spend time a lot of time out of their practice or cancelling and rescheduling appointments. I also like to know if they are realistic about their practice--do they take vacations, work a balanced week, have procedures in place for emergencies, etc. If they don't take care of themselves and have to play the long suffering "martyr" who devotes 25 hours a day to their patients, then they can't take care of themselves. If you can't take care of yourself, how ya gonna take care of me when things get hairy? I also like to know the spiritual orientation of the therapist. Religious values can be a real source of direct conflict I think so I ask what their general beliefs are. In my 30 odd years of therapy off and on I have come to realize that there are a lot of really strange people practicing as psychologists and counselors. Crazy, eh?

Gina

 

[Mina]

Those are some really good questions to ask, Trapped!

Working with a therapist who won't allow Darwin probably isn't a great idea, as he's very important to you. Perhaps it would be best to set that as your boundary, asking instead, "I intend to bring a stuffed animal with me to my therapy sessions, as I find holding him calming. Does this present any problems for you?"

For the service animal, just ask, "Do you allow service animals to accompany clients to therapy sessions?" or, "What are your guidelines on allowing service animals to accompany clients to therapy sessions?" Before you get a dog, I would suggest interviewing boarding facilities or longer-term pet sitters and finding one you're comfortable with. To me, asking a therapist to care for your pet is asking too much. Also, boarding or a sitter is likely more experienced at dealing with animals, particularly in a transitional setting where the owners are out of town on business, vacation, deployed, etc...it's their livelihood.

I also agree with what Gina said: it would be good to ask if they provide referrals to other therapists or services if issues arise which they are not trained to deal with or capable of handling.