Is all-or-nothing thinking part of ptsd?

[Irton Pike]

This all or nothing thinking makes us feel awful when we don't accomplish 100% of a task. Crazy thinking! I know, I have been doing it for 12 years. It has nearly killed me by my own hand.

If you are viewing a problem in this way, imagine what you would say to a lovely friend who was beating themselves up cos they only achieve 80% in thier exams or whatever. Be compassionate with yourself.

 

[cragger65]

I think I've been an all or nothing thinker my whole life. I understand it's short comings, but can't seem to "unlearn" it. It takes time and effort like everything else I suppose. And this is not specific to PTSD, people without PTSD also suffer this thinking pattern.

And I agree with you Irton, it is difficult. I've come back to CBT now for the 5th (6th?) time following my accident. It used to always make me feel even worse, but now, thankfully I'm starting to get it.

 

[Luthien]

I have recently made a rule for myself. The rule is, if I say something negative, I have to try to find a positive in the situation.

I've ony just started, but my reason for this was the "all or nothing" thinking. I have just become so negative.

I would see that it is freezing outside. -40...and that is where my observation would end. "it's freezing, holy eff. I am not going outside, I hate winter, life sucks" and wouldn't even notice the beautiful sun shining like a ray over the cold day.

It was like this for everything, and has even been affecting my health, so I am trying to purposely change it.

I know a little about phychology, and the science of the brain. One thing I know is that it takes 20 days to change a mindset. You have to keep plugging the message in for your brain to take it on as fact.

I play little mind tricks on myself all the time now, and will consciously make an effort to make changes to my mindset.

For me this positive thing is new...it is something I am serious about...it has the potential to make me see the good in anything if I try hard enough, and maybe that is just what I need to do.

I get very triggered by people telling me to find a positive in my situation. My reply "what the hell could posibly be positive about being raped and tortured for days?" That is where it always ended for me, and until today, I wasn't able to consider that there might be one. I am hoping that by forcing myself to find positives, that it will become natural for me to do so, putting an end to the "all or nothing" thinking. For now, I am able to say the positive in that situation is that I wasn't killed...It isn't great, but at least it is a step forward from not seeing that as a positive, and wishing I hadn't.

If anyone else would like to attempt this purposeful positive thinking , please let me know...then we can support each other with it. For me, if you catch me reverting to my negative way of thinking, and I do not put a positive after, would you please call me on it?? That goes for anyone reading this. ( my diary, however, is free of this rule)

 

[raku]

I do a lot of this all or nothing thinking when it comes to other people. I always jump to the most extreme conclusion about what someone's behavior might mean. Every time a work boss snaps at me, I assume I'm gonna be fired. Affirmations don't work so well for me because I don't really believe them :-( But I'm trying to rethink scary (to me) situations as "worst case scenario" and "best case scenario." The worst case scenario is my usual negative thinking. Then I try to see other people's behavior in terms of the best possible interpretation - how it's all about what's going on in their life. Maybe my boss snapped at me because he didn't get enough sleep last night. Nothing dreadful.

I am trying to do the same thing when people are nice to me, because I have a hard time seeing when people are manipulating me. Instead of assuming that they really want to be friends, I ask myself how their behavior would look different if they were just trying to be impersonally friendly. It ties in with trying to learn not to need their approval ("but I do, Blanche, I do, I do, I do!" sorry :-P)

 

[freya]

Yes, I do this...I refer to it as "jumping off the cliff" or "going from zero to 100." Most people I know have a gradual process, whereas I go right to the extreme, with nothing inbetween. Sometimes I just don't have the ability to see those intermediates, especially when I'm triggered. It's especially prevalent in my fights with DH.

Thanks to all. Mina, I so relate to this! Thanks for wording it this way! :smile:

 

[cragger65]

Luthien, awsome plan, awsome idea. Sign me up and let's help each other change our negative thinking. You are awsome!!

Also, would anyone mind taking a few moments explaining the CBT 5 column technique to me? What are the 5 headings/categories, what order are they in, etc. and any general guidelines I should try to follow. I use the 3 column approach currently, but thought 5 might work better? I don't know. Can never hurt to have another arrow in the quiver.

Thanks in advance,
Dave

 

[lrs]

This is one of several patterns of " distorted thinking ". It's not limited to people with ptsd or depression.
I was in a rehab once, and a counselor handed me the complete list of distorted thinking. I looked at it for a minute then I told him:
"Yeah, but if I did not have thoughts like this, I would not have any thoughts."