Relationship Is It Common At All For A PTSD Sufferer To Cheat On Their Spouse?

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Hi everyone again. I posted before about my husband and his new girlfriend and wanted to update people o...

Hello, I will try to make this short. I am in the process of a divorce with my husband who has PTSD. We've been together for 10 yrs. I've experienced the same exact things you were/are going through . he might even have a baby on the way. All these years I've been trying to just love him and be there for him no matter what, but I begin to realize how damaging it begin to be to my happiness, health, emotional and physical well being.

He hates taking his meds, because they make him sleep to much. He doesn't think the psych's know anything , but think he knows everything . I try to get him to try different things that might help, especially natural remedies and sch, but then he refuses.

Well, I can go on and on, but the bottom line is, I can continue to give my energy/help to someone who doesn't want to give their own energy nor trying/wanting the help for themselves. I can only be called out my name and disrespected so much. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband with all my heart, but he chose to leave like yours did and I begged, pleaded, apologized , accepted everything as my fault, forgave him for cheating and for treating me like trash. I tried everything I could to stroke his ego and no matter what, it's damn if I do, damn if I don't .

It gets to the point when you have to worry about self. I never thought I could be so broke, but he broke me the heck down. I begin loosing myself, try to cater to him, understand him, be supportive to him and motivating . It's completely over for us, I just can't do it anymore and plus with a baby on the way. I just can't . That's just a bit much for me. He will always have a place in my heart, because I've never loved anyone like I loved and was in love with him, but I have to take care of me and find me again.

One more thing. I kind of start feeling like the PTSD became the excuse,justification and/or reason for him to do extra stuff like cheating for instance and are almost positive that would excepted. All excuses are, that's part of my PSTD, but let me do something like that and the conversation is always different .

Best of luck with your situation . I hope everything works out for you. God Bless.
In my personal opinion, no one has the right to cheat on someone their in a relationship with. It's just...

I feel the same way. You are absolutely right. People will sometimes use their condition as an excuse, reason or justification. Thx for the confirmation. I was pretty sure I didn't have STUPID written on my face. LOL.
You're so right. PTSD sufferers tend to use this disorder as an excuse. Or convenient for them. It may not even be PTSD. People know what they're doing. These guys are conscious of their actions and just dont want to be held accountable. Same thing happened to me. Trust..its not the disorder. Its him and he doesnt want the relationship. Move on bc hes not coming back and if he does later why would you want him. Who'd want a broken toy or dead dog? He betrayed you and there was deceit so let it go. The same way he did you hes gonna do the new chick. Hes gonna lie to her too.
Hello, I will try to make this short. I am in the process of a divorce with my husband who has PTSD. We've been tog...

I'm going through this exact thing. If u had done any of what my husband if 15 years did, the conversation would be entirely different. But now, he is mentally ill with PTSD, and he needs my help, but I won't help him by giving him a chance to make amends. He cheated and deserted us when I left because i could no longer take the blatant disrespect of him talking to the woman in my and our children's presence. I and out children went in public assistance, etc. I don't think I can come back from that. It was horrible and he went to such extremes. I understand why you are putting yourself and child first.
Hi everyone again. I posted before about my husband and his new girlfriend and wanted to update people o...

Idk if post partem depression can cause u to have thoughts about hirting ur child u think it could cause u to feel completly disconnected from ur spouse after my pregnancy i seriously thought i was done with my spouse out of love i felt like i did not care at all and cheated and a month later i was like what the hell did i do i miss him its not an excuse and its horrible i did that to the love of my life and ill forvever regret it but i feel we are human and sadly we make selfish discisions sometimes mabe not cheating but other things too like neglect or name call those things hurt too now im praying and hoping my husbnd will forgive me which he still has not my advice to your huband would be dumb the new girl cause she could be a temporary feeling n dumping her the pain would be bearable n loosing you is gunna feel like him loosing part of himself thats how i feel and ive been with my husband 7 years too
I'm personally going through with this myself and we just had a 3 month old baby. I don't believe this has anything to do with his PTSD because he has been drinking every weekend since we left 2 weeks before Christmas. And he doesn't sleep at home. He stays with this girl who's an Ex-Marine and her roommate. While I was pregnant he told me that I love you but I'm not in love with you. He has been yelling divorce divorce divorce. He would go to Walmart or go out to drink and leave me in the house while I was pregnant. I have tried calling the chain of command to inform them of the ptsd affecting our marriage, and I never received a response back. Just calling, texting, and video calling us when he wants and not sending money for our child, just drinking it all up. I feel like I'm at my wits end with him. I digress, but the ptsd is sometimes used an excuse, a crutch, for them not to face their reality and responsibilities.
Well i dont know if anybody else has gone through what i have but my wife was attacked at work 2 years ago which had an affect almost right away and a few months after that she left me and kids saying she needed to sort her head out to get herself better, i was as supportive as i could be so got her into the doctors to finally be told that she had ptsd.

With all that had gone on she started to get the help she wanted while still living apart from us but always coming round to try and keep things normal ( not sure if using the word normal is ok to use) for the kids, anyway 2 years down the road things was starting to change as she was going out alot with some friends and starting to not come round as much or stay as long when she was here but i could sort of see she looked as though she was getting better. To cut the story short ive now found out that the friends she was going out so much with dont even exist and that for the last 6 months she has been seeing somebody else and that he was living with her at her house as i was always asked not to come round uninvited as this was her safe place so she kept telling me.

She has now give the house up and moved back in with her mom as asked me if i could help her as this secret life she was living was just a mask from reality where she felt normal ( her words) and that she never stopped loving me but was to scared and embarrassed to open up to me properly.

Sorry about how long this all is but ive only just found out about all this and was wondering if anybody else had been through something similar.
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I know this thread is fairly old but I wanted to post for zazazawa bc I can relate in a way. My husban...
That helped a lot! My husband just left because I said I wanted a divorce after 3 days of his yelling took a toll on me. A week later he found a 21 year old girl with braces. He is 34, and I'm 32. He left me once but never cheated. We respected each other loved hard and the sex was amazing.

I'm wondering how long will it take for him to come back? We have a one year old too. I gave him a son he has always wanted. This just don't make sense. I know that 21 yr old will not be there long because you have to have so much patience for my husband and not yell back to make it worse. Which is something I learned quick. A 21 year old won't do that. Because if you let him tell he will start to think rational after a short time after. She is not someone that is a woman ready to settle down. She is 21 with braces still. Do I move on or wait.? It has been 3 weeks?
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Well i dont know if anybody else has gone through what i have but my wife was attacked at work 2 years a...

Deano77 I am so sorry to hear this about your experience. I have PTSD and have had it for a few years with the diagnosis being 5 months ago. I became a completely different person, in moral, interactions, life, decisions it changed the very essence of who I am and have always been. I had no clue what was happening but knew I didn't like who I was becoming and how horrible I felt inside about myself and how hard it was to function. Please know that what is going on for your wife is and will be the biggest battle of will she will EVER FACE in life. There is no amount of love that can help especially when the person with PTSD can't even feel it or connect to it. I know this first hand, if she is lucky enough to have you and your children's gift of presence can be enough to KNOW she is loved, respected and cared for. PTSD tends to deliver it's victims to a fantasy world where minimal is real (detachment) and it is a very dangerous place to be because isolation is where the end of that road leads and to complete despair. I had to begin EMDR work, it has been a life saver and completely fast forwarded my healing back into the light. My suggestion is for anyone with PTDS go get true biological brain healing help with EMDR Therapy. If she loves herself enough and can find it within herself to know she IS worth it still you will be amazed and she will be back for real. EMDR eliminates the cycle of hell for the PTSD victim it actually re-wires the brain to distance from the trauma instead of loved ones. God is on our side even though we as PTSD trauma victims think he is not, pray for Raphael and Michael to help heal her brain as she sleeps and during treatment. God Bless to all and I hope you all seek out EMDR! it is fast and you don't have to re-live the trauma!!! Have courage to face the problem and get away from the trauma that wanted to take you over to begin with! You survived it! You GOT THIS!!!! IF I DO YOU DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD KEEP YOU SAFE
Deano77 I am so sorry to hear this about your experience. I have PTSD and have had it for a few years with the diagno...

It is good to know that my thought that it is PTSD taking over my fiancee (ex?) and causing her strange actions of cheating and bailing out saying she can't be in a long term relationship / doesn't want kids / etc. I knew those things were not really her. How do you keep yourself from acting on the "PTSD personality" emotional feelings and stances and keep yourself acting on who you know you actually are? This is the biggest battle it seems to keep focused on who you really are vs who you feel you are with the PTSD. I know when I take certain pain medications that my personality changes into a completely different person and I had a hell of a time trying to act myself vs the self I was feeling. Control is already a problem with PTSD sufferers, but how do you do it so you don't bail out and cheat and do things you wouldn't normally do but are feeling like you want to or need to do?
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