Relationship Is It Common At All For A PTSD Sufferer To Cheat On Their Spouse?

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Well i dont know if anybody else has gone through what i have but my wife was attacked at work 2 years a...

Hey buddy. We have more in common than I thought. My fiancee has done some things like this and is currently doing her biggest freak out and destructiveness yet in 4 years. She feels worthless and like stepping out with new people is her way of escaping her reality. Although that logically cannot persist forever. There is no way to self sustain a life without a job, vehicle, and infinite amounts of new people. The new people then becomes the norm that has to be escaped.

If/when your partner comes back, definitely work on conversations of who they really are and what the PTSD makes them feel like they are and how to get better open communication. I have this plan as well. Perhaps we can help each other out with this strange and terrifying type scenario. I feel this is a part of PTSD relationships that doesn't get addressed other than the comments of "cheating, leave them" type replies. There HAS to be ways of helping this scenario not play out as it does.
Cheating hurts the same no matter what the reason is for it. It's never OK.

The deception is not ok

"cheating" implies deception

I'm mono (number of relationships at one time), but not everyone is.
I only discovered that I was bisexual, rather than gay, at about age 20. I only accepted that I have PTSD at around the half century mark...

I don't think that people who are polyamourous, necessarily discover that they are at a young age either.
or without some experimentation to see if they really are.

for the sake of clarity I'm going to use the fictional example of me being in a relationship with someone who is poly

The honourable thing to do, if they're in a relationship with me, would be to tell me, and if I can't deal with it, they can either accept being mono for the sake of being with me,


tell me that if I cannot handle their nature, then the relationship with me is over, they are not the person I thought they were.

If someone is poly, no one else has the right to deny them their other informed and consensual relationships

whether the relationship with me survives is a different matter.
Even if PTSD caused blatant, rampant, infidelity... Why would it make a difference?

Cheating hurts...
I think being the victim of the cheater with ptsd, we try to find a reason as to why they no longer want us. Is it cause of the ptsd? Is it me? I am currentky dealing with a situation like this but my husband has apologized and is in some ways trying to make amends... but he's also falling into depression along with saying he can't handle being married right now. It's so hard not knowing how to help someone when all you want to do is love them.
Hi Cornnuts,
Welcome to the forum.

The person who needs your attention and care the most at this time, is almost certainly you. The leaflet that the link leads to was originally intended for the friends partners and families of alcoholics - but the message it carries, applies far more widely.

Just replace the word "Alcohol" with "Dysfunction" or "Cheating" or whatever crap - and it still applies.

Link Removed
Hi Cornnuts,
Welcome to the forum.

The person who needs your attention and care the most at this time,...
Oh my goodness, thank you. That actually helps, I have a hard time applying that to myself The part about not being responsible for their recovery. I want to be the best I can be for my husband but I don't think that will have any effect on his actions. Thank you so much for your support
You also have to make sure you don't use PTSD to excuse bad behavior. That is common with supporters,...
I'm pretty sure i'm becoming that. I walk on eggshells all day long and in his eyes i say the wrong things constantly, Everything I do for him is out of fear of making him mad or losing him. At some point I have lost myself, through counseling and church I'm trying to find myself again, and trying to learn I cannot change him only myself. Very difficult to adjust my ways and perception though.
There's a learning curve to being a supporter, and half of that is learning to set your own boundaries and taking care of your own mental health. You can't be much help to him, or have a healthy relationship, if you're a hot mess too. We all have to learn it.
Opening thread question, eh nope... unless it's a compensation and even then it's fluff and smoke and mirrors... total bull shit. Relationships rely on authenticity... if somebody isn't authentically themselves or aware of their distortions... frankly it's all bull shit. Don't contribute or enable and walk away. Better the consequence now for that partner than later.... or not... there is always somebody less functional to fill the bill but it is basically a "law of diminishing returns"... let them go.
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